The Goddess of Discovery Arrives in the Blogosphere
A criminal defense lawyer I know used to ask me "just exactly what is it that you 'litigators' do everyday anyway?'"
What we do, my friend, is discovery.
Discovery.
Saying that discovery is part of litigation practice is like talking about the wet part of the ocean.
How do you know when you're finally finished with legal practice? When do the heavens open up and angels descend with the news that you've finally done enough and may now go and do that which you truly love?
It's usually a discovery moment.
For one of my former law partners, it came on the heels of a five page meet and confer letter. Single spaced. When my friend's secretary came into her office with the written response, the expression on her face ranged between shock and amusement.
"You're not really going to send this, are you?"
"Yes, I am. Let me sign it."
"No no no no no no no. I can't let you do this."
"Yes you can. Let me sign it."
"Pleeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."
"Sign."
Here's the response that struck fear into the heart of an overworked legal secretary:
Whatever.
And yes. She sent it.
For those of you who have not yet reached the promised land of Discovery Whatever, I've got very very very good news for you.
The Discovery Referee Speaks! And she is a Goddess. Goddess Kathy Gallo to be exact.
Yesterday's post reminds us what we ought to know intuitively during our first deposition - the Court Reporter is the Goddess of the Deposition (my own stories of first encounters with the Sphinx of the Transcript are here)
The tale Kathy tells is likely the most outrageous but certainly not the most uncommon example of attorney incivility to court reporters that I've seen in a long long time. That post, and the ones that precede it lead me to believe that Kathy will preside at the top of the ABA Law Blog 100 before I can finish saying "thank god I got out before e-discovery."
I know of only one discovery referee who rivals my affection and respect for Kathy -- the brilliant, persistent and omnipresent Eli ("and your backup argument would be?") Chernow. Eli swore my dad in as Superior Court Commissioner before I went to law school. That alone gives him a warm place in my heart. He also let my step-son (then my paralegal) ask his first deposition questions in an antitrust action that had become so over-heated we needed the wise calm of a discovery umpire to get us from, "could you spell your name for the Court Reporter" to "I have no further questions of this witness." Only my step-son (now at Irell) and Eli ever did understand the complicated Rand statistical study that underlay the plaintiffs' conspiracy allegations.
The Court Reporter
As Kathy rightly notes - the Court Reporter is the Goddess of the Deposition and don't you go forgetting it. The Court Reporter is your very own home court advantage or you greatest nemesis. You think the Sphinx of the Conference Room doesn't talk to her friends, the Discovery Referee, or opposing counsel if you disrespect her? You think she doesn't have the discretion to transcribe or not transcribe every "um," "uh," and "arrrrrrr, um, uhhhhhh" you mutter as you struggle with the guy who says "yes," "no," "I don't know," and, "I don't understand your question, could you please rephrase it" for hours, even days on end. You think she can't make marking your own documents as exhibits the hell that populated your young adult law school dreamscape? You think the Court Reporter in incapable of taking revenge?
Think again.
How Do I Get from My First Admonition to My Final Discovery Motion without Humiliation?
Until a couple of weeks ago, the answer to this question was - you don't. The only way to learn how to mark an exhibit, how to speak to a court reporter, know whether she actually strikes anything from the record, respond to a foundational objection, how to mark an exhibit without shame, how to respond to the other side's instructions not to answer and how to lead your professional life without yourself becoming a screaming A**hole, was to first make a complete and utter fool of yourself. That's how we learn to become lawyers young men and women.
Now that the Goddess of Discovery has arrived on the shores of the blogosphere, however, you might, just might, avoid humiliation and become a lean, mean discovery machine by clicking on Kathy's RSS feeder and reading her posts every single day.
Got it?
Got it!
Now go get 'em champ!
Please don't buy me retail
My friend's Women's Bar Association is looking for a speaker.
They wanted that other woman who speaks on the topic of women negotiating. You know the one . . . what's her name. Yes, that's her. The annual meeting committee gave her a ring and she quoted them $10,000 for an hour keynote. To be fair, an hour keynote takes all day. First, you've got to travel, then stay over night, then, if you're really serious about being of service to women lawyers, you get up early and listen to the morning speaker, talk to your table mates, find out what their challenges are, and, then alter, ever so slightly, your noon keynote to deliver exactly what this particular unique group of women need to hear. You stay after, of course, to answer questions and sell copies of your book, which is, after all, your time, the time you'd be spending anyway spreading the good news that women can negotiate away the glass ceiling and the pay gap and their kids' private school tuitions. Because that's just how you roll. So it's never just an hour.
Still.
$10,000.
"Did you negotiate with her?" I asked.
"The search committee didn't even try," said my friend. "They figured her price was retail."
I don't mind being second choice. That other woman, well, shoot, she pretty much started the whole women-negotiating-revolution. I get it. So I gave my quote and added, "but I'm not a suit on a hanger at Bloomies. You don't have to buy me retail. Remember some of what I taught you about money and value."
"Uhhhhh, make an aggressive first offer?"
"Well, yes. But that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the money is meaningless lesson. You remember. You can't eat or drink it. It won't actually do the surgery nor build an addition to your house. Remember how it just evaporated overnight right before George Bush left office? Remember how your house was worth $500,000 on Monday and two fifty on Tuesday?
'Money has a value only because we give it value. It's only worth what we say it's worth.
"Uhhhh . . . . "
"O.K. I know. I talk too much and too vaguely."
Here's the deal. My price is X + expenses. That's negotiable. I don't tell you it's negotiable because as soon as I do you'll start negotiating! And since it was me who taught you to negotiate, I'm not wild about bargaining with you. The desire to teach is way to strong in me.
"I'm negotiable. So is that other woman, the one whose book title is Ask for It! And money isn't the only measure of value. It would also be of value to me for your women's bar association to sell my book. Of course I'll bring it with me to autograph and the like. But you could also include it on your invitations. If someone in your Bar Association blogs, they could give it a review. If you haven't already pledged that you wouldn't give away anyone's email address, you could give me your mailing list so I can stay in touch with your members. Each of your members also has her own network. We could brainstorm about ways that you could give me the benefit of my pre-speech networking acumen to get more women to your convention. It's hard to sell seats these days. How many people are you expecting? What if we double that? Could you pay me my full fee then?
"None of us is a suit on a rack. And what we can do for one another is so much greater than opening our wallets and shelling out a few dollars that money sometimes seems just laughable. So let me say this again. I know you've heard it before but I want to highlight it here again.
"I am a store of value and you are too. My network, my social capital is a store of the store of value of each member in it. And in that, you and I are both rich.
"Got it?"
My friend, my student, is smiling, even though I can't see that over the telephone.
"I got it."
"Now what was that offer again?"
The next game changing She Negotiates workshop is still open for a few last-minute members. We start on Monday. Don't be a suit on a rack. Join us!
(cross posted at She Negotiates)
Happy Lawyers is Not an Oxymoron Redux
Pictured: Chere Estrin, Chairperson, Board of Directors, The OLP; Editor-in-Chief, SUE for Women Litigators; Editor-in-Chief, KNOW the Magazine for Paralegals; CEO, Estrin Education, Inc.
I've written about happy and unhappy lawyers before - here and here but I've rarely framed the issue as succinctly or as well as Chere Estrin at the Organization of Legal Professionals. In the sidebar to her article The Secrets to a Stress Free Career, Estrin says work does not give you stress. Feeling bad about work gives you stress.
What does Estrin know?
Quite a lot.
"I used to be the most stressed-put person I knew," says Estrin.
I averaged 90 hour weeks in the legal field as an executive in a $5 billion corporation, traveled three weeks out of four, answered to some big shots who thought they owned the planet, and managed hundreds of people. It wasn’t much different when I was a paralegal manager. There were critical deadlines to meet, difficult attorneys to juggle, anxious clients to handle and something called a “minimum billable hours” requirement, now referred to as “suggested” hours in a more politically correct and less actionable environment. I recently looked at a picture of myself during that era. I was holding my new-born niece, Cristina, a joy to behold and I looked like I just escaped from a train wreck and stopped by to say howdy.
Sound familiar? After debunking some stress myths (you should go right over there now to read them) Estrin suggests the following:
Continue Reading...negotiation - it takes courage
(cross posted at She Negotiates)
I asked one of my consulting clients for a testimonial yesterday.
"Anything," she said, "it's genuinely changed the way I do everything. It's not just the shift in my business relationship with [BigBiz, Inc.]. I dumped a boyfriend last week because of our conversations! So, seriously, what would you like me to say?"
My client and I, like the few women commercial litigation clients I had during my twenty-five years as a lawyer (2%?) were quickly becoming friends. And I was proud of her. Truly proud. Like a parent would be.
"I'm proud of you," I finally said, even though I'd been thinking it for weeks. "You've shifted the power in your working relationship and that was difficult to do. You were persistent. You're a first class learner. And you've been brave."
She laughed, the way we women do when we're praised, wanting the moment to pass instead of savoring it a little, particularly when we know deep down we've genuinely achieved something important in our own lives and careers but don't want to appear self-satisfied.
So I said it again. "I'm really proud of you. You've done great work and you never gave up. You didn't fold to the power of BigBiz, Inc. You stood up for yourself."
Continue Reading...She Negotiates Holds an Open House with Door Prizes!!
Do come visit us and consider enrolling in our July 19, month-long, coached negotiation course here.
The blog, which is today offering prizes, is here.
Testimonials
It's the quality instruction, real world experience, and bevy of resources brought to you by Victoria Pynchon that makes this course a stand out. On the internet a lot of people purport to deliver courses that will 'transform your life' or 'bring you to a new level in your business,' but often prove to be nothing more than advertising vehicles to enhance their lives and not yours. Victoria, with the support of that fabulous woman behind the Craving Balance curtain, Lisa Gates, has created a real winner with this course. And yes, it is transformative--it changes your beliefs about what you're capable of doing and having, because you're given the know-how and tools to make it happen."
Doreen Lima, Wildly Successful Personal & Professional Development
"I am embarrassed to admit that I had only a glimmer of the science behind the negotiation process. And I had not given much thought to how often we bargain every single day in every part of our lives. Victoria has opened my eyes and helped me to fill a huge gap in my business and life tools. The change in my attitude toward money was a surprising bonus! I no longer dread talking about the fees I charge for my services. I may never eagerly embrace negotiation, but I no longer fear it and better yet, I appreciate and enjoy the process now. Thanks to She Negotiates, I am making great bargains and walking away when I say it’s the right time."
CaZ of Writing Bytes and 2 Chicks at Home
"Thank you so much Vickie and Lisa for raising my level of awareness of the power of negotiation, for helping me re-examine my self worth, and for encouraging me to stand up for my bottom line and not be swayed by someone else's bottom line."
Lori Lacey, Corporate Learning Specialist and Coach
"I learned more during this hands-on negotiating course than in another higher-priced class I took. Victoria and Lisa helped me make the emotional changes necessary to demand a higher value for my work, and taught a step by step process for getting the most from sales negotiations."
Linda Gryczan, Mediator
"Victoria and Lisa are an amazing team. Their individual areas of expertise create the perfect blend and balance for understanding the subtle nuances of the art and science of negotiation, and they do so in a way that is fearless and authentic. Thank you for this incredible opportunity. You've empowered me and I am grateful."
Debra Healy, Beaverton, Oregon
More American than I -- a Fourth of July Tale
"I'm more American than you are," Luis, the Argentine exile was saying over dessert at a local Los Angeles eatery nearly twenty years ago.
I'd dodged Luis' phone calls for at least two months and this was our first date. We'd met at the downtown Los Angeles Biltmore where party faithfuls were celebrating Bill Clinton's first Presidential victory. An hour earlier, I'd been standing on a balcony at the Century Plaza hotel listening to the dim depressed and increasingly drunken hum of conversation in the room behind me. My friend and former associate had just sustained a predictably certain loss to the durable Rep. Henry Waxman. Mark was a Republican sacrifice. But still. It's hard to lose.
The somber tone at the Century Plaza was not limited to the room in which Mark's supporters had so glumly gathered. It inhabited the entire hotel as George H.W. Bush's first term failed to morph into his second. In retrospect, only a Harry Potter reference could have done justice to that election night mood. It felt as if a coven of dementors was circling overhead, glorying in the Grand Old Party's despair and draining peace, hope and happiness out of the air around them.
"Let's get the hell out of here," I said to one friend or another.
"We're drunk."
"We can take a cab."
Continue Reading...
Discussing Hot Button Issues without the Heat
Immigration Dialogue 2010
July 23, 2010 (3:30-5:30 pm PT)
at the Skirball Cultural Center in Los Angeles
Featuring:
Arizona State Rep.
Moderated by:
Lee Jay Berman
President, American Institute of Mediation
Please join us for a very unique and special event where we will discuss the Immigration Issues facing us in 2010, and Arizona State Law SB 1070, which is scheduled to take effect on July 28, 2010. Rather than an interview or debate, the American Institute of Mediation (AIM) is hosting a public mediated discussion on the topic featuring two Arizona State legislators: John Kavanagh (R) and Kyrsten Sinema (D) and facilitated by AIM founder and President Lee Jay Berman.
Mediator Explains the $20 Million Dugard Settlement to the Press
From Yahoo News . . . . I'm assuming the parties to the settlement waived mediation confidentiality on this one . . . Seems odd though.
"It is compensation for three people for the rest of their lives who have been horribly damaged over a period of 17 or 18 years," mediator Daniel Weinstein told The Associated Press.
Dugard and her daughters, ages 15 and 12, filed claims in February, saying parole agents with the Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation began supervising Garrido in 1999 but didn't discover them.
The Dugard family members claimed psychological, physical and emotional damages. . . . .
The money will be used to buy the family a home, ensure privacy, pay for education, replace lost income and cover what will likely be years of therapy, said Weinstein, a retired San Francisco County Superior Court judge. In addition, much of the money will be placed in long-term investments, he said.
"It was not an effort to make reparations for the years of abuse and incarceration or imprisonment against their will, because ... the damages to these people were incalculable," Weinstein said in a telephone interview. "Part of this was a prudent effort by the state to shut off liability from a catastrophic verdict."
Weinstein praised the state for quickly accepting responsibility, and the Dugards for accepting a reasonable settlement at a time when the state faces a $19 billion budget deficit. He said the scope of the claim was unprecedented in his 20 years as a mediator because of the duration of the crime and that it led to the birth of two children.
