About Us

Victoria Pynchon

I mediate and arbitrate complex commercial disputes, the former with ADR Services, Inc. in Century City and the latter with...

She Mediates

ADR Services, Inc.

She Negotiates

She Negotiates

The 33 cent wage and income gap is unacceptable and unnecessary. So is the cliché glass ceiling. Bottom line, our...

Difference

I don't know. I'm thinking about it.

Inclusivity Begins with Opening Our Eyes and Ends when We Shut them Again

I've been talking a lot about gender bias this month (National Women's History Month because I need an excuse to do this).  It's opened my eyes so wide that all I really want to do in April is to shut them again!  But I've never let myself off the hook that easily even though some people are, well, irritated with me.  Particularly women.

(as you page through this post, please identify the man who is not gay; you are disqualified from playing this game if you already know the sexual orientation of more than two of these men)

Don't ask.  Don't tell.  Get along.  Go along.  Be productive.  Don't whine.  It's not about gender bias, it's about the lack of available . . . pick one . . . women who want to be CEO's; women who pay more attention to their career than their families (shame on them); and, women who want to work as hard as the men at the top of the AmLaw 100 or Fortune 500 do.  Come on, admit it, ladies, we really would rather just stay at home!  

(break for a research study done by the social scientists:  when asked to count dots on a square for money - "keep counting until you believe you've earned the $4 dollars we'll pay you," women worked 20% longer and 20% faster than their male counterparts before they believed themselves to be entitled to the $4 dollars)

The images we carry in our heads about what the "others" look like, and the opinions we form about who they are based on the image we carry of them, makes more of a difference to our occupational opportunities than any of us wants to believe.  I don't want to believe it.  I just want to work.  That's what I do.  Work.  I'd almost go so far as to say that's who I am.  

Most people who know me don't think of me as a woman attorney.  They think of me as an attorney and then, in some order according to their degree of intimacy with me, their friend, colleague, opponent, mediator, arbitrator, professor, Board Member, speaker, trainer, coach.  A few people, mostly those in my writers group of sixteen years, think of me more as a writer than I do even though I'm finally on the brink of publishing this book and even though I've published a fair amount of short fiction, poetry, and literary non-fiction in the small University Press ("yes, mom, those are the people who still read poetry"). 

I suppose some people think of me as a blogger or someone in their Twitter network but I don't put those things on my vitae nor resonate with them sufficiently to make them Vickie-descriptors.  I'm a step-mother but I don't think my adult step-children think of me that way.  They grew up in a good two-parent home and only after they were grown and dad had been single for a few years did he meet this woman named Vickie who surely didn't look anything like a mother.  Or at least not like their own, beautiful and caring mother, though Steve's former spouse and I are more similar than we are different.

I write this final piece on the status of women (with a hat tip to the brave women at Newsweek who openly addressed the workplace issue that cannot be named until someone gets so discouraged that its name appears in a law suit - professional suicide for women lawyers) because I'm told that raising implicit bias to consciousness pretty much solves the problem of marginalization. 

How easy is that?

O.K., it's not easy.  It's hard.  We're fair minded people raised in the Great American Enfranchisement Era.  We've got political-issue and compassion-fatigue.  Really?  Some people still feel hampered by racism?  We've got an African-American President for gosh sakes.  Isn't that enough for you people?  And look at Hillary Clinton!  She's Secretary of State!  Women can do anything they want to. If  they're not, it's not any of my doing buddy, there just aren't enough qualified women out there.  Women lawyers make sixty cents on a male lawyer's dollar you say?  Well, that just proves they don't want to work as hard as men.  There are no restrictions.  I know a woman who . . . . . .

(by the way, it's nobody's fault - but we do need to help one another move past racial, religious, national, gender, sexual orientation, disability, and poverty stereotypes)

Here's the hilarious, fearless and brutally honest Chris Rock on minorities and money:

I live in Alpine, New Jersey, in a $3 million home. There are 4 other black people that live in my neighborhood. So it's me, a fairly successful comedian, then Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers of all time, Jay-Z, one of the greatest rap artists, and Denzel Washington, one of the great actors today, right? Everyone else is white.

You know what my neighbor does?

He's a dentist!

He's not the greatest dentist of all time. He's not a superstar dentist. He's just a dentist!

You know what it would take for a black dentist to live in that neighborhood? If a black dentist wanted to live in that neighborhood, he would have had to invent teeth!

(not quite verbatim quote from Zen Personal Finance). I hear this story when people give me their successful women-ADR-neutral lists (they're pretty short lists) or tell me how few deserving women ADR professionals there are.  Deborah Rothman is the name most frequently mentioned on the "deserving women" short list.  She's a friend of mine and the Mary J. Blige of ADR. 

Deborah Rothman.  (from whom, by the way, I did not seek permission to mention)

(No, Deborah is not part of the "Which one of these Men is Not Gay Test).

Deborah was in Yale's first graduating class of women along with Meryl Streep - the first class of women in the history of the Ivy League to graduate from Yale University.  With Magna Cum Laude honors no less. Then Deborah went on to earn her Masters Degree in Public Affairs from. . . .  ready?  Princeton University.  And her law degree from NYU.  

(Meryl, as the archetypal evil woman executive in The Devil Wears Prada)

Before becoming a high-stakes commercial ADR neutral in 1991 (that's nearly twenty years of experience folks) Deborah Rothman worked with one of the top ten law firms in town - Manatt, Phelps.  Then, when she had children, she formed her own successful business, Baby Fair Enterprises, for which she served as CEO for four years.  Then she became an ADR neutral at a time when people thought "mediation" was "meditation" and the ranks of ADR professionals were almost entirely drawn from the ranks of retired Judges.  Deborah - breaking every glass ceiling she's ever failed to see.

Here's Deborah's resume.  How many neutrals of any gender have qualifications like this? 

Deborah invented teeth!   

When you think "woman arbitrator" or "woman mediator" I want you to think of Deborah.  I do not want you to call to mind the image of woman mediators an attorney recently told me popped into his head when he thought "woman mediator."  These women are fairly representative of the picture he painted except that they're not also crying.

 

 

(sorry, sisters, you look great but you don't appeal to my market!)

 

 

 

 

Here is what just a few of my Southern California commercial mediator women friends look like:  

 

 

 

 

 

 Occupations of the pictured men:  Air Force weapons systems officer; NASA astronaut; NFL star; rocket scientist (for major US defense contractor); television personality and style-maker; Governor of an American state; television series star; U.S. Congressman. 

Which one is not gay?

Improving Your Game to Get What You Want How You Want It

If you've been thinking, "but I'm just a mom" or "my job is ruled by pay scales" or "secretaries can't negotiate" -- think again! And register for the 4-week virtual learning and journaling course in the Craving Balance Learning Community.

When I was ten years old, my best friend, Steve and I moved our nascent tennis careers from the blacktop of neighborhood streets to the local high school's courts.  I'd never had a single lesson but believed I was pretty darn good.  

Then came tennis season in high school.  One warm Southern California morning, I was showing off my strong backhand to Coach White when she yelped, “where did you learn to play like that?”

“It’s how I’ve always played,” I replied, waiting for the praise I knew must follow.

“Well, it’s all wrong,” she scowled.  “I’ve never seen anyone hit a backhand like that before in my entire life.” 

It wasn’t a titanic struggle, but I did mightily resist giving up the skill I’d been honing since elementary school.  It worked for me.  Why did she want me to change?  Not only would I be required to alter behavior that was, by now, reflexive, I’d have to spend some serious time being a really crappy beginning tennis player again. 

Nearly forty years later I'd have a jarringly similar experience taking my first mediation class after negotiating settlements for more than two decades.  I had to spend a little bit of time being a really crappy beginning negotiator again.  And I'm pretty certain that will also happen to most of you.

That ingratiation tactic, for instance.  The one in which we give up power for sympathy.  It's worked   pretty well with our husbands or family or children.  Sure, they’ve come to resent the manner in which we get our way and they give up theirs, but time is short; we're overwhelmed with raising a family or climbing the corporate ladder; keeping our business above water or getting along with a bully boss in the workplace.  We’re not going to have to give up our old reliable techniques are we? 

Yes we are!

Why?

Because new skills have now been repeatedly tested by negotiation professors and coaches at the best business schools in the country, skills that are being used by Fortune 500 executives and international diplomats to better effect that the daily news would suggest.  Skills that will work for you. Promise.  Guaranteed.  

What I think will most surprise you the most is that the most effective negotiation strategies and tactics are pretty much what we women are already good at.  We naturally look for opportunities in which everyone gets what they want.  We’ll just tweak that existing talent a little and make it more powerful by bringing it to consciousness. 

What we’re not tremendously good at is asking for what we want.  And because we haven’t practiced that skill, we haven’t learned how powerful it can be.  Nor have we learned how to do it without sounding bossy or bitchy or whiney.  Sorry for the stereotypes, but we are judged according to them.  One of the lessons in this course is how to get the concessions we cannot get by being bossy, bitchy, and, whiney  or that we do get but that we're later punished for in surprising and baffling ways.

Isn’t that much easier, my coach asked after only a few weeks of play.  And see how much stronger your stroke is and how many more games you’re winning?

Yes!  I did see.  And although I didn't go on to a career in tennis, I’d learned my first genuinely valuable life lesson.  Be ready to give up that which doesn’t work no matter how fond of it I am.  Be ready to learn that which does work.  And rule the court!

The Lessons of Week Two

  • winning negotiation strategies - getting to the table
    • the right people
    • at the right time
    • with the right interests
    • and the right preparation
  • at the table negotiation tactics, including:
    • anchoring
    • framing
    • strategic concessions
    • demands for reciprocity
    • competitive vs. interest-based bargaining
    • the power of "why"

Before Women Negotiate, We Need to Re-Think Our Economic Value

TRUE STORY:

Lorrie is a working mother and a trial attorney with two children under five years of age. Though working part-time for a part-timer’s salary, during the six months preceding year-end bonus time, she'd been billing more hours than most of the firm's other attorneys.  She was putting in the extra hours at considerable hardship to herself as she helped prepare for trial a case for one of the firm’s most important clients. The client was extremely pleased with Lorrie's work and had singled her out for particular praise.

Because Lorrie had worked so hard and so well, Lorrie's supervisor recommended that Lorrie receive the full $10,000 bonus the firm’s Executive Committee had earlier approved for all full-time associates who met their billing requirements. The Executive Committee approved the request and authorized the firm’s Managing Partner to give Lorrie the good news.

When the Managing partner called Lorrie into his office, he told her that the firm was considering giving her a $7,000 bonus, which bore the same percentage to $10,000 as her part-time salary bore to full-time associate pay at her level.  Lorrie said she understood; that she greatly appreciated receiving any bonus at all; and, thanked the managing partner for the $7,000.

When Lorrie’s supervisor heard about the bonus, she immediately called the Managing Partner and demanded to know why Lorrie wasn’t given the $10,000 bonus she'd recommended.

"I thought you said the Executive Committee approved it."

"Oh, the Executive Committee approved it,” said the Managing Partner.  “But Lorrie seemed so happy with the $7,000 bonus I thought I’d do the firm a favor and save it three grand.”

"She’s talking about leaving the firm."

“I don’t understand,” the Managing Partner replied.  “She was so happy.  If she wanted more, why didn't she ask for it?  I was expecting her to negotiate.  $7,000 was my opening offer." 

A month later, Lorrie left the firm, to the great disappointment of her supervisor and the firm’s client.

WHAT’S THE PROBLEM HERE?

If I were advising the firm rather than women studying negotiation, I'd have a few choice words for the Managing Partner about being penny-wise and pound-foolish. But we’re not talking about corporate America here. We're talking about your well being; your family's well being; and, your ability to immediately change the income gap between you and your male counterparts (an American gap of 76 cents on the dollar in general and sixty cents on the dollar for women lawyers)

The prescription is available at You Can Negotiate Anything here

We begin on April 1 so sign up now!

 

Negotiating the Millenium as We Continue to Honor National Women's History Month

"Do We Really Want to Hire a Woman Mediator on this Case?" Victoria Pynchon Goes All In

Five years ago, after twenty-five years of high-stakes complex commercial litigation, I left legal practice to pursue a full-time ADR career.  At the time I left practice, these were the questions my teams and I were asking about the qualifications of mediators:

"Do we really want to hire an attorney mediator for this case?"

"Don't you think the client wants a Judge?"

The ADR profession has mostly passed that hurdle.  Though some litigators continue to say "my client needs to hear the bad news from a retired judge," most litigators understand that mediation is more about influence, deal making, subtle persuasion, specialty knowledge, "real life" experience, people skills, and raw intellectual speed.  

(why is the second edition of this book pink?)

I've been reading Women Don't Ask:  Negotiation and the Gender Divide by Babcock and Laschever in preparation to teach my month-long You Can Negotiate Anything course for women over at Lisa Gates' shop, Craving Balance. Wow!  It's like reading The Second Sex for the first time in college.  It explains so much.

Right now I'm going to remind my readers that well-behaved women rarely make history.

These are the conversations taking place at the highest levels when someone suggests my name as a mediator.

"Do we really want a woman mediating this case?"

"The client won't accept a woman mediator."

"This case doesn't have women's issues in it."

"If it was an employment case, a woman might be appropriate.  Those cases involve a lot of emotion. Women are good at that." (I'll say it again:  if you don't believe men are emotional about litigation, you don't understand that anger is an emotion)

Why are they even talking about my gender?  Why is it relevant?  They don't ask "do we really need a man to mediate this case?"  Except on those occasions when women's issues are involved.

How do I know this?

I've got the statistics from Babcock and Laschever; I've got the knowledge of how high-end litigators talk deeply embedded in my genetic code; and, I've had the following way too recent conversations.

Conversation Number One with the CEO of a Successful ADR Panel

Victoria:  "Let's put WLALA (Women Laywers of Los Angeles) on the list of organizations to send marketing materials to."

CEO:  (without a beat) "No.  Women don't refer."

Conversation Number Two with (male) Litigation Client in Separate Caucus

Victoria:   "Do you worry about jury blow back because your clients don't have green cards?"

Attorney:  "Not any more than I'd be worrying about what they'll think of the Lesbians in the next room."

Victoria:  "Ohhhhhhhh, they're Lesbians!"

Attorney:  "Why do you think we hired you?"

Conversation Numbers 3-10 with Separate Litigation Clients in Separate Caucus

Victoria (as an aside):  "You know I didn't practice personal injury law."

Male client:  "We know.  But we needed a woman for this case." (# 1:  injuries to the scalp at a hair salon; #s 2-5:  injuries arising from Botox treatments; #s 5-8:  women real estate brokers or agents and women clients; # 9:  medical malpractice:  wrongful cliterectomy; # 10:  medical malpractice:  wrongful vasectomy).

Conversation Number 11 with the Head of a Federal Settlement Panel

"The attorneys rarely choose the women on the panel." (and we're free!)

Conversation Number 12 with an ADR Insider

"So few attorneys were choosing African-American and women arbitrators that they stopped putting them on the panel."

A Baker's Dozen:  Conversation Number 13 with a Fellow Mediator (Male)

Mediator:  "Why don't you pursue the women's market?"

Victoria:  [speechless]

Although the answer to this question could have been:  "because women don't refer."

Get the picture?  Yes we see.

Why "Women Don't Ask:  Negotiation and the Gender Divide" makes this all make sense tomorrow.

Negotiating Women Do It Without Lawyers

Oprah's settlement of the defamation action on the eve of trial reported here; the press release says:

"The two parties met woman to woman without their lawyers and are happy that they could resolve this dispute peacefully to their mutual satisfaction. Ms. Winfrey testified in her deposition that she did not intend the implications placed on her words by the plaintiff. Ms. Mzamane testified in her deposition that she has no evidence that Ms. Winfrey knowingly made a false statement about her or entertained serious doubt about the truth of what she said. We are pleased both parties have reached a conclusion."

Gee, do you think they could have settled it like that before all the legal folderol? Having spent 25 years of my life doing the legal folderol, I believe so.  (not to diminish the importance of a system that enforces the Rule of Law - just saying for an action like this one . . . . "girl talk" much more likely to resolve the matter). 

Negotiating Civility: An Idea Whose Time Has Come

I was at a meeting of settlement officers for the U.S. District Court (Central District of California) last week when someone complained of a proposed rule change that attorneys would "game the system."  I said (snarkily) "is there any other way?" 

An early mentor told me:  anyone can win on the merits - it takes a great lawyer to win on procedure. 

That was the least of it.  Here are some other words of wisdom handed directly down to me from lawyers past:

you don't get paid to settle; you get paid to win

if the other side wants it, you don't; if you can't see how it will hurt you now, you haven't thought enough about it yet

we don't give extensions of time, period, ever; we make them regret the day they sued our clients (or defended theirs) 

come back with your sword or on it

make her cry (pre-deposition instruction about opposing counsel; I did; came back and said "don't ever ask me to do that again")

bury them in paper

bury it [the smoking gun document] in paper

object, object, object - the other side has to meet and confer anyway

I solicit more of this litigation oral tradition from my readers. 

Of course we "game" the system. Isn't that what our clients pay us to do?  To walk up to the line of wrong-doing; stop just short of it; and, make them regret the day . . . . Has it changed?  Here's what the State Bar of California would like litigators and their clients to do:  be civil.

RESOLUTION OF [_____________________________]
APPROVING AND ADOPTING CALIFORNIA ATTORNEY
GUIDELINES OF CIVILITY AND PROFESSIONALISM
RECITALS


A. As officers of the court with responsibilities to the administration of justice, attorneys have an obligation to be professional with clients, other parties and counsel, the courts and the public. This obligation includes civility, professional integrity, personal dignity, candor, diligence, respect, courtesy, and cooperation, all of which are essential to the fair administration of justice and conflict resolution.


B. Civility and professionalism have been affected by a number of factors, as a result of which there is a need for attorneys to recommit themselves to the principles of civility and professionalism.


C. On July 20, 2007, the Board of Governors of the State Bar of California adopted California Attorney Guidelines of Civility and Professionalism.


D. The Board of Directors of [________________] are of the unanimous opinion that the Guidelines will be of significant assistance in encouraging members of [________________] to continue to enhance their reputation and commitment to civility and professionalism.


RESOLUTION


The Board of Directors of [________________] hereby approves and endorses the California Attorney Guidelines of Civility and Professionalism and recommends that all members of [________________] commit to and agree to be guided by such
Guidelines.


Dated: _______________
[________________________]
By: _____________________
California

The full California State Bar "Civility Toolbox" here.

Differences in Men's and Women's Conflict Negotiation Styles

I'm blogging about gender and negotiation this month because March is National Women's History Month and March 8th was the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day (commenced in 1910, a full decade before the Nineteenth Amendment would grant U.S. women the right to vote). 

Today I stumbled over the post Women Deal with Conflict Differently than Men, reporting on a study done by the Program on Negotiation at Harvard in 2008.  Results of the study showed the following similarities between men and women including:

  • Integrating, the ability to meet the needs of both parties; and,
  • Compromising as a strategy, except women showed a "high level of agreement that every issue has room for negotiation"

The differences included:

  • women's tendency to choose equal distributions when compromising which the researchers apparently ascribed to women's greater concern with fairness;
  • competitiveness - with men scoring 25% more competitive than their female counterparts
  • "smoothing," with women engaging in that behavior 20% more of the time than men - smoothing being defined as "giving in to the other party while ignoring one's own needs"
  • avoiding or withdrawing with women doing so 30% more than men
  • expressing feeling, with women apparently doing so "more" than men but no percentages are provided

We'll be working with gender differences through the end of the month of March and will likely discuss this data in more detail later.

Never Get in a Bar Fight with a Thai, Negotiating with the Chinese and the Upcoming Course for Negotiating Women

Xan Skinner, a lawyer, mediator and restorative justice practitioner, lived for four years in China and speaks Mandarin.  Yesterday, at the Orange County Mediation Conference, Lee Jay Berman of the American Institute of Mediation, gave the keynote on Cross-Cultural Negotiation.  Xan's joining Lisa Gates and my on-line community learning course You Can Negotiate Anything at Craving Balance.  In response to a few tweets from the Mediation Conference about Lee Jay's talk, Xan (@xanskinner) directed me to her post about negotiating in China, which begins with the ominous warning, "never get into a bar fight with a Thai" and ends with the following observation.

A  Hong Kong shopkeeper once told me why he likes Americans as customers.  He says, "Indians have money, but they are very sharp.  They're skilled negotiators, and they haggle a hard bargain.  Americans, on the other hand, are great customers.  They have a lot of money, and they're not too smart."  A fool and his money are, truly, soon parted!  I guess, after first accepting that I'll never be wealthy, I have to admit to myself that my true, main goal is not to end up dead on the bar room floor. 

If your true "main goal" is to insure that those with heart and soul also wield a little economic power, avail yourself of the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of Lisa's and my new joint venture, priced so low you might under-estimate its potential value to you.  What is that value?

You will learn:

  • how to negotiate retail
  • how to to let your bargaining partner have your way and strengthen your relationship at the same time (answering Xan's troubling question:  isn't getting the best deal for me selfish, unfair, wrong, even downright immoral)
  • how one woman, using "female" interest-based negotiation tactics, survived a round of lay-offs by simply refusing to be laid off.
  • how to know whether your bargaining partner is "taking" you
  • how not to be "taken"
  • how to be at choice in the great "money vs. quality of life" conundrum

At the end of the course, you will be able to:

  • save at least $1300 on the purchase of your next car (this is the sum buyers are said to lose every time a woman negotiates the purchase of a vehicle)
  • ask for and get the raise you deserve especially in this difficult economy
  • ask for a get the "lifestyle" concessions you want without giving up salary in return
  • get the better part of the bargain even when negotiating from a position of weakness
  • negotiate better deals for your clients, friends and family

And you do not have to be aggressively competitive nor change a single thing about yourself other than to practice the skills we teach you -- how to negotiate in an interest-based collaborative, problem solving way.

The Comparables

One of the primary ways we learn to test the value of an offer is to check out what the competition is charging for the same services.  When the services are this unique (Lisa's life-altering coaching skills coupled with my dynamite negotiation training) it's difficult to find anything comparable, but here's my attempt to do so.

Why us?

First of all, we're women.  In my market - the negotiated resolution of complex commercial litigation with hundreds of millions of dollars at stake, I can tell you frankly that my gender is not a selling point.  It should be because conflict resolution and negotiation are more about influence and people skills than they are about power and authority.  While we wait for the guys to get it, we can (men, don't read this) totally overtake them by learning what they know (distributive, competitive negotiation strategy and tactics) while at the same time using what we already know (interest-based, collaborative, problem-solving negotiation strategy and tactics).

Are you with us?  Come on the journey.  Change your life and the lives of those you care about by adding economic power to the powers you already possess in abundance.  It's the Century of the Woman.  We need you to step up to the line because this is not just about getting the best deal on your next flat screen TV purchase. It's literally about saving the planet!

Master Mediator Jeff Kichaven on "Personality" and Establishing Credibility in Mediated Negotiations

These videos are Mediation 101 by one of the best commercial mediators in the greater Los Angeles area, Jeff Kichaven. For Jeff's more sophisticated materials, check out his articles here.

Resources on Women and Negotiation in Honor of Women's History Month

I'm sure you've noticed that we're celebrating negotiating women here this month in honor of International Women's Day and National Women's History Month.  Other than tomorrow night's free negotiating women teleseminar with super coach Lisa Gates, I'm celebrating by posting in one place all of my articles on negotiating women.

The Power of Beauty

Nature gives you the face you have at 20; it is up to you to merit the face you have at 50. -- Coco Chanel A local judge who has four beautiful young law students working for him this summer...

Tips from Forbes & a Word with Women: Negotiate Your First Salary

If you're entering the job market, you'll want to check out Forbes' Magazine's Tips for Negotiating Your First Salary. If you do not negotiate your first salary, you stand to lose half a million dollars over...

Ask for It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want

I didn't realize until I got onto the plane out of Seattle that Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever -- our morning plenary session speakers (Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide) -- have written a new book -- Ask...

Negotiating Your Mid-Life Career Crisis with Career Coach Lisa Gates

Practicing law, particularly litigation, is often frustrating, sometimes humiliating, and frequently simply dispiriting. On the other hand, the practice of law can be thrilling, intellectually stimulating, challenging, absorbing, and a darn good way to make a good living. When you...

Is Hillary Negotiating Her Withdrawal? So Says Cokie

From Women on the Web's Conversation Today Cokie Roberts: 'Hillary Is Negotiating Her Withdrawal' with Lesley Stahl Q&A with ABC News correspondent Cokie Roberts. Excerpt below: LESLEY: Let’s talk about Hillary. I’m wondering, how do you explain..

Must Read for All Women Negotiating Law Firm Life

Below is my review in The Complete Lawyer of Lauren Stiller Rikleen's must-read book Ending the Gauntlet: Removing Barriers to Women's Success in the Law. Concluding paragraph: At bottom, this book calls for management practices that will benefit all attorneys...

Clinton Speaks on 88th Anniversary of Women's Suffrage

(Right, women protesting, 1912. My own grandmother was 12 years old at the time this photo was taken. By the time she was old enough to vote in 1921, she could vote) Why women's voting rights and Hillary Clinton's DNC...

Negotiating Women at ForbesWoman

If you're a certain age, you'll remember women's magazines as mostly "Can This Marriage Be Saved" (The Ladies Home Journal to which PWNSC members Cathy Scott's and Cordelia Mendoza's mother was always submitting articles) or 101 Things to do with...

Negotiating Against the Grain of Gender

Yesterday, we talked about the different negotiation styles of men and women. Today, we're going to explore how men can benefit from learning women-speak and women can benefit from learning man-talk. All of the data relied upon and excerpted below...

Negotiation 101: Gender War or Gender Peace and Prosperity?

Although I am indisputably a "woman lawyer," I have never thought of myself in those terms. I'm a lawyer. And I'm a woman. I'm also a writer, a step-mother, a wife, a daughter, a river rafter, and an aficionado of...

Negotiating Women on New Day Talk Radio Easter Sunday Noon

(and, yes, I am not only old enough to remember the "Second Wave" Women's Movement, I took a quite serious role in it, first as an unpaid volunteer and later through the federal government's "Program for Local Service" at...

Negotiating Women: 5th and Final Part

Thanks again to Vicki Flaugher of SmartWomanGuides.com for inviting me to have this conversation with her about ways in which women can and do maximize their bargaining power. And yes we do talk about negotiating the purchase of an automobile...

Negotiating Women Part III

This segment of my interview with Vicki Flaughter is primarily about why women don't negotiate - to their substantial economic detriment - (see Women Don't Ask Here) and what they can do about it....

Negotiating Women Part II

In part two of Vicki Flaugher's interview with me, we discuss ways in which women can comfortably respond to aggressive zero-sum distributive bargainers and negotiate better business deals using their natural strengths. I'd like to once again thank Vicki Flaugher...

Negotiating Women: Never Negotiate Out of Fear, But Never Fear to Negotiate --

Video below is part I of an interview on negotiation challenges, strategies and tactics for women with Vicki Flaugher, founder of SmartWoman Guides. The full audio of the video is here along with Ms. Flaugher's kind comments about our conversation....

Negotiating Women: Free Teleseminar at Craving Balance

How to Negotiate Anything: Free Intro Thursday, Mar 18, '10 8pm EST Some researchers say that women's failure to negotiate working conditions, salary or other compensation--along with their hesitancy to seek what they're worth when they do negotiate--is one of...

Women Bloggers Proclaim National Women's History Month

Whereas American women of every race, class, and ethnic background have made historic contributions to the growth and strength of our Nation in countless recorded and unrecorded ways; Whereas American women have played and continue to play a critical...

Update on Gender Diversity in the Judiciary and in ADR

When I posted Negotiating Gender: Why So Few Women Neutrals? I had not yet found a source for the statistical representation of women neutrals on the American Arbitration Association Panel. I've now located an article on the AAA website from...

Negotiating Gender: Why So Few Women Neutrals?

Although most of the major providers of alternative dispute resolution services tout their commitment to diversity in the ranks of their neutrals, the coloration of nearly all ADR panels continues to be white; the nationalities European; and the gender male....

Women, Negotiation and the Persistent Wage Gap

Thanks to Ed. at Blawg Review for passing along this (somewhat rambling but well worth watching) lecture at Stanford University by Deborah Kolb, the Deloitte Ellen Gabriel Professor for Women and Leadership at the Simmons College School of Management....

 

Free Twitter Negotiation Seminar on Never Again Doing It Free

You know all the statistics about women's failure to negotiate their first salaries, their car purchases, their raises, their rates, and their price points.  If you don't, run over to Lisa Gates Craving Balance Blog right now for the straight skinny on women and negotiation (Why Women Must Negotiate Now than Ever Before).

What both Lisa and I are finding with our women clients (women are Lisa's market and my quarter-market) is that they're always doing stuff for free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Let's not waste our time analyzing why we do this.  Let's just stop doing it.  

Run on over to the Commercial ADR Blog right now to see - yes - Lisa's and my free Twitter negotiation seminar where I take Lisa through a very short negotiation role play to help her negotiate a price for her services rather than simply saying "yes."

A New Negotiation Blog - The Critical Path - Takes Flight

Litigating and trying complex construction disputes requires visionary strategic talent; incisive tactical skill; wise management abilities; and, dogged persistence.  Now construction litigator, trial attorney and mediator Ron White brings those qualities to the settlement of complex construction disputes with his newly launched blog, The Critical Path, Tools for Resolving Construction Disputes.

Take a look at Ron's most recent post, Negotiations and the Samurai Code:  Seven Habits of Highly Successful Negotiators.

I especially like the opening "habit" - vision. Below is an excerpt, but you'll want to stroll on over to Ron's new shop to check out the entire post.  While you're there, welcome Ron to the ADR and Construction Law Blogosphere.  I long ago told him that we're like a small town in Iowa where people still leave their doors open and the welcome wagon arrives with lists of local services; good advice; and, baked goods. Don't make a liar out of me!

"A successful negotiator," Ron writes

has outstanding vision; he sees both the strengths and weaknesses of his case. He has the capacity to look beyond the narrow focus of advocacy and peer into the broad spectrum of possible outcomes through the eyes of the judge or the jury. He meticulously evaluates the law and facts advocated by his opponent, knowing, as did the samurai, that “You must understand the conditions on the opposite shore to comprehend your side of the river.” This perspective minimizes negotiating mistakes, which, studies have shown, occur more frequently with plaintiffs, but that when defendants do make them, they are really big mistakes resulting in awards much higher than plaintiff’s last pre-trial settlement offer.

Honoring Richard By Carrying on His Work

Unlike many others in the mediation field, I did not make the acquaintance of Richard Millen until recently.  In the past couple of years, we met for extended lunches and too many tall lattes (the lattes mine) between the old Wolfgang Puck's and the shuttered Virgin Record Store at Sunset Blvd. and Crescent Heights. 

Aside from the usual frustrations of mediators (insufficient respect; the difficulty of making a living; doctrinal disputes; and, the like) Richard suffered from age bias quite acutely.  It was not  any physical ailment or  diminishment in mental capacity that left Richard unoccupied after a robust and active professional life, it was the way in which he felt patronized, under-utilized and overlooked because others believed he was simply too old to do the job.

This is as untrue as any other stereotype or prejudice. As Richard noted in Transcendent Mediation, the facilitation of dispute resolution is a wisdom business in which the mediator, as the agent of change, disappears as the parties "do for themselves what they came for the mediator to do."  Richard explained:

Wise mediators . . . need to adopt is a different epistemology which changes the way we think about the conflict[,] thereby avoid[ing] “solutions that may seem quick and easy and expedient, but in fact are premature. . .resulting in a helping and a fixing instead of a non-hierarchical, common endeavor toward, if not to, a complete change of energy and reconciliation. 

“Our essential task is to allow all sides of an issue or pairs of opposites to exist in equal dignity and worth until their hidden unity is revealed.  By befriending and strengthening our capacity to hold paradox, we explore the realm of spiritual growth.  As we actualize all aspects of ourselves and weave them into an apparent symmetry, we become more skillful problem solvers, mediators, stewards of justice, and models of patience and mercy.   


Finally, there is [the instruction of] The Bhagavad Gita [that] we should neither be attached to the actor nor to the fruits of the action.  [W]hen a mediator is not so attached, the mediator is truly liberated to serve the parties in the mediation process by changing it to a positively oriented non-hierarchical, common endeavor in which the parties do for themselves what they came for the mediator to do.   

 

  

That is how to be and do as both a mediator and as a person in one’s life with []power[] of choice.  When as mediators we are in service to others, we are working on ourselves.  When we are personally working on ourselves, we are helping others.  It is the same.  We cannot tell the difference.  

 

It is as Rumi wrote,

 

I, you, he, she, we,

I, you, he, she, we.

In the garden of mystic lovers,

these are not true distinctions.

We've taken on racial and gender bias here recently.  In honor of Richard, let's also rethink our attitudes toward the aged or "elderly."  As geriatric nurse Alison Parsons explains in her article Attitudes to the elderly:

 

Ageism is "a process of systematic stereotyping of and discrimination against people because they are old... Ageism allows the younger generations to see older people as different from themselves, thus they subtly cease to identify with their elders as human beings." (Butler, 1975, cited in Matteson & McConnell, 1988: 482). Matteson and McConnell (1988: 482) point out that ageism decreases social status, and diminishes contact with younger people. It affects the health care of older people by influencing the attitudes of health care professionals and policy-makers towards the aggressiveness of diagnosis and treatment of the elderly. These attitudes are often based on erroneous assumptions regarding the utility of chronological age as a marker of function or ability to contribute to society. The tragedy of ageism is that it robs society of the fullest contributions of its older members, and it denies people's fulfilment of their potential as human beings throughout the life course.

 

Let's use the time of Richard's passing to take a look again at his writings and rethink our own attitudes not only toward age but toward what too many attorney-mediators dismiss as "touchy feely" practices - the ones that can take the opportunity offered by conflict to experience a moment of clarity, transformation and transcendence.

Two New Blogs to Help You "Win" Your Settlement Negotiation

Yes, Virginia, lawyers do "win" mediated settlement negotiations every work day.  They do so by:

  1. their reputation for success at trial;
  2. their ability to choose the right moment to first discuss settlement;
  3. their ability to "control" their team and their client ("control" being a legal term for good client relations arising from top notch client communication skills);
  4. their negotiation skill set - both in terms of long-term strategy and "at the table" tactics;
  5. their persuasive skill set - both with opposing counsel and with the mediator;
  6. their ability to conduct a risk-benefit analysis that approximates the true likelihood of their probable success at trial;
  7. their determination to make aggressive but reasonable first offers;
  8. their possession of and willingness to stick to a set of flexible "bottom lines" that give them sufficient room to "horse trade" and "hang the meat low enough for the dog to smell it;
  9. their ability to bring the right people to the table at the right time; and,
  10. their ability to walk away without dramatics if the other side is unwilling to negotiate in the realm of reality.

Some of these skills are in all litigators' arsenals.  Where most litigators are the weakest is in the negotiation of settlements.  I know it not only because it was my greatest area of weakness ("I'm paid to win not to settle") but because I see it evidenced in mediation when attorneys bargain half the day away in the useless strato- and nano-spheres.

Here are two new resources you should have at hand every working day.  "Having blog resources at hand," by the way, means having a google or other news reader to send you RSS feeds. 

Decision Tree Analysis - the Decision Tree Analysis Blog by PaperChace.  There's a ten-day free trial of PaperChace's decision tree analysis software for mediators, a free trial I'll take advantage of once the $^%@# book is finished (any day now, really).  Laywers love numbers in the way only people who don't understand them can.  I've had cases settle promptly as soon as everyone has put themselves to the task of making numeric estimates of their chances of success on the merits at any given stage of the litigation.  For making the uncertain certain and depressing overly optimistic client expectations there's nothing quite like numbers.  Do check it out.

There's another mediation blog to read as well, but not simply "yet another" blog by yet another mediator.  This is Lee Jay Berman, one of the best and busiest mediators in town, the teacher of thousands in Pepperdine's internationally known and respected "Mediating the Litigated Case" and President of his own mediation think-tank and training station - the American Institute of Mediation.

The blog, Eye on Conflict, will deliver to you free of charge the wisdom, education and training you'd otherwise pay thousands of dollars for.  Listen, I spent two full years at the Straus Institute earning my LL.M in dispute resolution and every time I talk to Lee Jay he tells me something that improves my ability to help lawyers negotiate settlement 100%.  Today Lee Jay mourns the passing of a giant in our field - Richard Millen.  As you read Lee Jay's tribute, you come to understand just how deeply embedded he and his vision are in mediation theory and practice in Southern California.

Put these two dynamite resources in your news reader and be as good a settlement negotiator as you are a litigator and trial attorney.

 

 

Mourning the Passing of a Great Friend, Mentor, Lawyer and Mediator, Richard Millen

Mediation World Loses a Patriarch.

Must-read tribute to Richard Millen at Lee Jay Berman’s new Eye on Conflict. Lee Jay traces the lineage of mediation in Southern California, with Millen at the top.  Whether you knew Richard or not, he says, if you’re a mediator, you were taught by him.

Indeed.

Here's Richard's skeletal bio from the California Academy of Distinguished Neutrals.

It doesn't begin to capture Richard's colorful life, impish spirit, and fierce dedication to the practice of mediation "the way it ought to be."  It doesn't say how many times Richard would meet with new mediators to mentor them and share the joy and sorrows of the field that had so much potential yet, he believed, failed so persistently to live up to it.  I never told Richard that he was the father I adopted for the loss of my own, first to Parkinson's and then back to the sea he loved, ashes to ocean.

I understand from Richard's devoted friend, mediator Lee Jay Berman that Richard's family is having a private internment on Friday at Mt. Sinai but that he and mediator Laurel Kaufer will be planning a tribute soon, an event to honor Richard's life.

I don't think there's a mediator in town who didn't know and love Richard.  Not, you'll excuse the presumption, a "real" mediator at any rate.  Richard, for all his storied "soulfulness" did not suffer fools gladly or at all.  Nor did he cotton to separate caucus, position-based, distributive, single-issue, monetized shuttle mediation.  He considered most of us lawyers benighted fools and strove mightily to treat us with compassion rather than holding us in contempt.  That old cavalry soldier was never one to roast marshmallows over an open fire - he'd rather roast a few executives, attorneys, and "settlement conference" mediators instead. 

The last time I saw Richard - not that long ago - he was sitting by my side at a meeting of the State Bar's Standing Committee on ADR muttering angrily about the way we were all wasting our time on legal issues, debating for God's sake, when we'd been given the keys to the kingdom already, keys we'd so carelessly left at home tarnishing in junk drawers.

I don't know what else to say.  I hope people who knew and loved Richard will come here to share stories and say good-by and we love you without sentimentalizing him because he would have hated that.  I would think Richard would have raged raged against the dying of the light except for the fact that he was pretty fed up with the lot of us toward the end there.  So I'll end with a poem that doesn't cotton to people just up and vanishing.  By one of the great contemporary poets of the English language, W.S. Merwin.  


The Truth of Departure

With each journey it gets
worse
what kind of learning is that
when that is what we are born for

and harder and harder to find
what is hanging on
to what
all day it has been raining
and I have been writing letters
the pearl curtains
stroking the headlands
under immense dark clouds
the valley sighing with rain
everyone home and quiet

what will become of all these
things that I see
that are here and are me
and I am none of them
what will become
of the bench and the teapot
the pencils and the kerosene lamps
all the books all the writing
the green of the leaves
what becomes of the house
and the island
and the sound of your footstep

who knows it is here
who says it will stay
who says I will know it
who said it would be all right

 

Negotiating Women: Free Teleseminar at Craving Balance

How to Negotiate Anything: Free Intro

Thursday, Mar 18, '10
8pm EST

Some researchers say that women's failure to negotiate working conditions, salary or other compensation--along with their hesitancy to seek what they're worth when they do negotiate--is one of the major reasons for the persistent wage gap for women in all work-related activities.

Celebrate Women's History Month this March with a free introductory teleclass taught by lawyer/mediator Victoria Pynchon and hosted by Lisa Gates of the dynamite Craving Balance Learning Community. You will learn the difference between competitive bargaining and collaborative interest-based negotiation. You'll also asses your negotiation challenges and discover your focal point for truing up not only your major challenges, but your everyday negotiation skills.

Prior to the free teleclass, we highly recommend following this link to complete a Negotiation Assessment. Taking the Assessment will help you get the most value out of your time on the call. It will show you where you are now, and give you a clear and personal foundation for identifying your next steps. Taking the Assessment will also help us identify the specific needs of the group and allow us to speak directly to your real life challenges.

Complete information on the month-long online journaling and learning course that follows the free teleclass can be found by following this link.

Class size is limited so register NOW!

Women Bloggers Proclaim National Women's History Month

Whereas American women of every race, class, and ethnic background have made historic contributions to the growth and strength of our Nation in countless recorded and unrecorded ways;

Whereas American women have played and continue to play a critical economic, cultural, and social role in every sphere of the life of the Nation by constituting a significant portion of the labor force working inside and outside of the home;

Whereas American women have played a unique role throughout the history of the Nation by providing the majority of the volunteer labor force of the Nation;

Whereas American women were particularly important in the establishment of early charitable, philanthropic, and cultural institutions in our Nation;

Whereas American women of every race, class, and ethnic background served as early leaders in the forefront of every major progressive social change movement;

Whereas American women have been leaders, not only in securing their own rights of suffrage and equal opportunity, but also in the abolitionist movement, the emancipation movement, the industrial labor movement, the civil rights movement, and other movements, especially the peace movement, which create a more fair and just society for all; and

Whereas despite these contributions, the role of American women in history has been consistently overlooked and undervalued, in the literature, teaching and study of American history:

Now, therefore, be it resolved by the Settle It Now Negotiation Blog and the Blogs of all other women who are making and recording the history of the United States of America every working day, that March is designated as "Women's History Month. Every woman blogger and every male blogger whose life has been enriched by the presence of women in it is requested to issue a proclamation each March, calling upon their fellow bloggers to observe March as Women’s History Month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.

This resolution, calling upon "the people of the United States to observe March as Women’s History Month with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities" was passed by Congress in 1987 and successive years since then.  For more information about the origin of National Women's History Month, or the activities of the National Women's History Project, contact:  National Women's History Project.

This blog is celebrating National Women's History Month by running a series of posts on implicit gender bias in ADR.  Those posts, in order of their appearance (including Diane Levin's post on the same topic during the same time period) are here: 

Negotiating Gender:  Why So Few Women Neutrals?  http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/2010/02/articles/conflict-resolution/negotiating-gender-why-so-few-women-neutrals/

Update on Gender Diversity in the Judiciary and ADR http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/2010/03/articles/conflict-resolution/update-on-gender-diversity-in-the-judiciary-and-in-adr/

Combating Implicit Gender Bias in ADR http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/2010/03/articles/conflict-resolution/combatting-implicit-gender-bias-in-adr/

Doing it backwards and in heels:  a prescription for remedying gender bias in ADR (Diane's post) http://mediationchannel.com/2010/03/05/doing-it-backwards-and-in-heels-a-prescription-for-remedying-implicit-bias-in-adr/

Negotiating Gender:  the Old White Men Speak http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/2010/03/articles/conflict-resolution/negotiating-gender-the-old-white-men-speak/

Negotiating Gender Bias in ADR:  the Commercial Client Speaks
http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/2010/03/articles/conflict-resolution/negotiating-gender-bias-in-adr-the-commercial-client-speaks/

Negotiating Gender Bias in ADR: the Commercial Client Speaks

I received this from a senior in-house attorney (male) at an international Fortune 500 company in response to my posts on gender bias:

international arbitration . . . tends to be dominated by white males with European surnames.  The closed pool presents something of a problem for parties who are not enamored of a scrub-each-others'-back (consciously or unconsciously) form of decision-making.  One way of injecting energy into the process is to apply diversity to the appointment of neutrals, arbitrators or mediators.  It forces us to actively look for the right skills, talent, [and], reputation for the particular dispute.  [W]ithin [my company], where we seek to measure whether we are hiring diverse outside counsel, my own division has been able to claim some diversity credit by appointing women arbitrators.  (and, between you and me, I have to say that we've never been disappointed - the dancing backwards rule always applies.

I am not advocating here for "special treatment" for women neutrals.  I am advocating for the end (or simply the diminishment) of "special treatment" for male neutrals.  Here, the client speaks.  Hiring with diversity in mind forces clients to find the best and most talented person for the job free of the "quid pro quo" burdens of the old boys' network.  "Sorry, Chuck.  That was a great getaway to your country club and I enjoyed the golf, but we've got these stupid diversity goals to meet so I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to reciprocate your many kindnesses by throwing as many cases your way as I used to." /1

Diversity Makes Good Business Sense

If diversity makes good business sense to the Fortune 500, shouldn't it make good client relations to the AmLaw 200?  Consider the following item from CNN (I'll track down the link again soon).  

On Oct. 1, Indra Nooyi takes the helm at PepsiCo (Charts). And with that, the soda and snacks giant becomes the largest U.S. company by market cap to put a woman in charge. .  .  Since 2001, CEO Steve Reinemund has enforced aggressive hiring and promoting rules. Half of all new hires at Pepsi have to be either women or ethnic minorities. (Half!) And managers now earn their bonuses in part by how well they recruit and retain them. Today 25% of Pepsi's managers are women, up from 22% four years ago. Six of its top 12 execs are now women or minorities.

Is Pepsi simply being a good corporate citizen?  Is it putting social concerns above  profits?  Hardly.

The diversity push is part of Pepsi's game plan to better understand the disparate tastes of new consumers as it continues to expand globally. That's probably the new CEO's biggest challenge. But Nooyi--who as Pepsi's CFO led its successful acquisition of Quaker Oats--should be up to the job. The thing that got her hired, after all, wasn't being a woman. It was being a sharp strategist. /2

Women Improve Performance

A study by Roy Adler, a professor at Pepperdine University in Malibu, California, tracked 215 Fortune 500 companies, comparing their financial performance to industry medians. He found that “companies that smash the glass ceiling also enjoy higher profits.” In a recent Harvard Business Review article presenting his findings, Adler showed that “the companies with the highest percentages of female executives delivered earnings far in excess of the median for other large firms in their industries.” The Canadian Conference Board findings support those of Adler. It tracked the financial well being of firms with two or more women on their boards in 1995 to see where they stood six years later. It found that firms with women board members were much more likely than companies with all-male boards to be leaders when ranked by revenue or profit. .  .

From Women on Corporate Boards Makes Good Business Sense.

What might be the cause of the dramatic differences that women on boards make to corporate bottom lines?  Consider the following:

In May of 2002, The Conference Board of Canada published findings of a major study they did of women and corporate boards. These findings suggest a strong link between female numbers on boards and good-governance credentials. The researchers found that 94% of boards with three or more women (compared to 58% of all-male boards) insist on conflict-of-interest guidelines; that more female than male directors pay attention to audit and risk oversight and control; that women, more than men, tend to consider the needs of more categories of stakeholders and; that women, more than men, tend to examine a wider range of management and organizational performance. The findings reveal that 72% of boards with two or more women conduct formal board performance evaluations, while only 49% of all-male boards do; that companies that provide boards of directors with formal, written limits to authority have a greater percentage of women directors than do organizations with no formal limits to authority and; organizations that provide boards of directors with formal orientation programs have a greater percentage of women directors than do organizations with no such program.

Id.

Gentlemen and ladies, start your engines!  The economy needs all of us and it needs all of us right now!

Update:  concluding the recent American Lawyer lead article on substantial recent declines in law firm diversity are the comments of DuPont's and General Mills' GC's:

"Just listen to Roderick Palmore, general counsel of General Mills, Inc., whose 2004 Call to Action set off a major diversity push by U.S. general counsel. "The challenge is that we cannot look at these statistics and these results and sit still," he says. "We're in a dogfight." Adds DuPont's Sager: "I think [firms] ought to be concerned how [a decline in diversity] is perceived at law schools, in the legal community, and most of all, by their clients."

Diversity Scorecard 2010:  One Step Back

__________________

 

1/  In the "old days," these "kindnesses" included nights out at strip clubs and the occasional retention of a hooker for foreign clients.  No kidding.  And I was told early in my legal career (the late '80s) that I could, if I wished, accompany the client's CEO and the senior partner to the strip club if I wished to be part of this particular "networking" opportunity but I wouldn't be blamed for foregoing it.  I always forewent strip clubs.  I could drink prodigiously with clients but I could not comfortably stick a hundred dollar bill into a stripper's panties.

2/  Note that no one ever says "[t]he thing that got [him] hired, after all, wasn't being a [man].  It was being a sharp strategist."  This article is from 2007, and the journalist must still make it clear that there are competent women out there to do jobs still seen as the domain of men.

Negotiating Gender: The Old White Men Speak

And they do so in favor of diversity.  See commercial arbitrator and mediator F. Peter Phillips' November 2006 National Law Journal article:  ADR Continental Drift:  It remains a while, male game.  I promised prescriptions for change and here are a few sent to me by Peter Phillips this morning.  Peter was, as I am now, a member of the CPR Diversity Committee.

Once again, based upon my personal experience and that of tens of thousands of other women in commercial legal practice I continue to believe that until we are fairly represented on commercial ADR panels, both arbitration and mediation, we cannot expect significant change.  This may happen as a matter of the natural "aging" process of the field.  The ADR field looks now exactly like the legal field looked to me when I entered it in 1980.  Not surprising given the fact that ADR is historically a "retirement" field.  That is already changing, to beneficial effect.

For the adventuresome, Peter's pro-active recommendations below. I highly recommend, by the way, that you follow Peter's Business Conflict Blog.  It's one of the best out there.

(screen shot of google search for our local legal rag's "top 50 neutrals)

What if the country’s leading law firms—from which so many of our leading mediators and arbitrators emerge—had an incentive to encourage more diverse members of the firm to enter this field?

■ What if a benchmark survey were conducted to determine how often law firms suggest mediation to their clients; how often mediation is in fact tried; and how often diverse mediators are proposed to clients by outside lawyers and ADR provider organizations?

■ What if the property casualty insurance industry, as the largest consumer of legal services and of ADR services, conveyed its expectation that the firms that insurers pay for, when they propose mediators and arbitrators, will be expected to propose diverse individuals?

■ What if influential national ADR organizations combined forces to better reflect their corporate and legal constituents, and meet their customers’ expectations, by sharing information on excellent women and minorities who are not now on their lists, but should be?

■ What if initiatives were undertaken to encourage particularly promising women, younger people and minorities from firms to attend ADR colloquia, seminars and other events in order to network, learn and advance their visibility and recognition among the ADR community, as well as to contribute diverse views and perspectives?

■ What if a mentor program were designed and funded, pursuant to which younger female and minority attorneys could “shadow” established mediators and arbitrators (whether or not they are women or minorities) and establish skills and reputations thereby?

■ What if corporations and law firms intentionally engaged younger mediators who are women and minorities in smaller matters, so that those professionals would gain experience as neutrals and be better positioned for the larger cases?

■ What if scholarships were established to enable young people to be trained as mediators and arbitrators, with the expectation that a person thus trained would be skilled not only as a neutral, but more generally as a negotiator and client representative in settlement?

■ What if a very “early pipeline” were begun, and ADR institutions worked with Street Law Inc. (www.streetlaw.com), a national program that trains high school students in legal issues, or a similar organization to provide materials and information for children to become interested in ADR as a profession?

It is perplexing that this one aspect of the legal profession—a field that is otherwise so robust, so progressive and so creative—lags behind so miserably in satisfying client expectations for diverse practitioners. But there is no indication that it must be so. And with diligence, creativity and practical action, it will not long be so.

Here are more diversity resources from CPR.

Combatting Implicit Gender Bias in ADR

Now you know the disappointing statistics.  As women have populated the Bench, justice has become more privatized, lessening the benefits of diversity to those whose disputes lead them to Court; to arbitration panels and associations; or, to mediation panels.

(make of it what you will, but I was definitely a boy-toy girl, i.e., trucks, cap guns, baseball gear and the like; no dolls - yeeccchhhhhh)

Here's the inside scoop - all of it anonymous - and gathered from people in a position to know, i.e., people who manage ADR panels, both in court-annexed programs and in the private sector.  These are observations from the national scene and no one should conclude that they refer to practice in Southern California or to panels with which I'm affiliated - I know a lot of people around the country because I blog and am pretty deeply wired into ADR practices and procedures both nationally and internationally.

  1. even on pro bono panels, particularly in the more commercially oriented federal courts, panel users rarely choose women;
  2. women are so seldom chosen as arbitrators that at least one urban arbitration panel stopped putting women on a local roster until the decision to "let the market choose" came to the attention of the organization's higher powers who likely saw this for what it was - intentional gender discrimination;
  3. because "women don't refer" cases to private ADR panels, women's legal organizations are often excluded from those panels' marketing efforts; and,
  4. women are leaving prestigious ADR panels to commence judicial careers or return to the bench because they cannot make a decent living in the commercial ADR sector.

I'm a Lawyer Who Happens to Also Be a Woman; Not a "Woman Lawyer"

I've avoided this topic because I don't like whining about circumstances that could possibly hinder my own career.  I'm not used to whining.  I'm used to working.  And as I've said many many times before, I did not experience gender discrimination as an inhibition to career advancement in commercial litigation.  During the early years of my practice (say, 1980 to 1985) the response to the flood of women entering the legal market was:  (1) we were explicitly told that we had to prove our mettle by taking the "heat" in litigation's "kitchen" - we accepted this challenge and met it; and, (2) we were supported by our law firms in response to biases in the market. 

(image right:  we were trying to figure out who to be)

How supported? 

Like this.

Client:  I don't want Vickie Pynchon assigned to this case (1983)

Senior Partner:  Why?

Client:  Frankly, I don't want a woman representing my interests in Court or any other venue.  I don't think they're tough enough and I don't think it will give my opponent the right impression of the power I want to project.

Senior Partner:  If you don't want Vickie on the case, you'll have to find another law firm because she's the best associate I've got.

As late as 1987, clients in an antitrust action told the senior partner on a case on which I was the senior associate that they didn't want me to take any of the significant depositions.  At first, the senior partner agreed.  Time passed.  He was a rain maker.  I was a worker.  I knew the facts far, far better than he did.  Critical depositions were scheduled.  The partner continued to assure the clients that he would take those depositions.  Then he "fell ill."  I was pinch hitter

The clients came, suspicious and angry.  They passed notes among themselves and some to me with suggested lines of questioning.  Eventually, the notes got crossed and I received one of the client-only communications. 

It said, "oh my god!! she's great!!"

I'm not blowing my own horn here.  Here's my experience with those few clients (half a dozen in a twenty-five year practice) who affirmatively stated a gender-bias to the "senior" male members of my law firm/s -  they judged my performance as simply brilliant because they had such low expectations.  Most women use this to their advantage, as do most litigators.  There's no better advantage to have in litigation than the low expectations of opposing counsel and there's no better way to impress prejudiced clients than to perform competently in their presence.

So what to do about gender bias in ADR?  Should we "listen to the market" and provide them with what "we" (think) they want?  Or should we respond to implicit bias in the profession by flooding arbitration and mediation panels with competent women (we do exist in sufficient numbers to easily accomplish this goal)?  As I've said to more than one arbitration panel executive "implicit bias will evaporate when the lists of arbitrators sent to the parties by the organization include five women and one man instead of six men or five men and one woman."

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Update on Gender Diversity in the Judiciary and in ADR

When I posted Negotiating Gender:  Why So Few Women Neutrals? I had not yet found a source for the statistical representation of women neutrals on the American Arbitration Association Panel.  I've now located an article on the AAA website from December 18, 2006  (here) stating that women then made up 13% of AAA's national roster of neutrals

As I noted in that post, diversity among private neutrals is extremely important as more and more litigation is being diverted to arbitration, particularly employment litigation in which allegations of gender discrimination are not (I believe) uncommon (I have no statistics on this either and ask that anyone who does to please send them along). 

Neither the public nor the private justice systems can deliver procedural justice in the absence of hearing officers that fairly represent the people and business entities being judged. As of May 2009, 212 full-time federal judges were women, more than a quarter of the federal judiciary.

The state judiciary is more representative of the population on which it sits in judgment.  Nearly a third of all state supreme court justices are women and in 22 out of 53 supreme courts, women make up at least 40% of the bench.   

The state and federal court figures above are all from a 2009 article, Diversity on the Bench (here).Gender diversity in the state trial courts also appears to hover around 20-30% female as revealed by a recent study on Racial and Gender Diversity in State Courts with outliers in the States you'd expect. A list of all 50 states after the jump.

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