About Us

Victoria Pynchon

I mediate and arbitrate complex commercial disputes, the former with ADR Services, Inc. in Century City and the latter with...

She Mediates

ADR Services, Inc.

She Negotiates

She Negotiates

The 33 cent wage and income gap is unacceptable and unnecessary. So is the cliché glass ceiling. Bottom line, our...

Negotiating War: a "False and Sloppy Consensus"

Let's take a workplace teaching moment from the Obama-McCrystal dust-up as provided to us by the New Yorker in this week's Talk of the Town piece, Team Effort.  In reporting the dysfunction on Team Afghanistan (McChrystal vs. American Ambassador Karl Eikenberry with President Karzai as a manipulative by-stander) the NY'ers George Packer recalls a description of governmental decision-making provided by Obama's special representative for the region, Richard Holbrooke, last year:

People sit in a room, they don't air their real differences, a false and sloppy consensus papers over those underlying differences, and they go back to their offices and continue to work at cross-purposes, even actively undermining each other.

If that defines your workplace, it's time to have some difficult conversations in which a genuine consensus is negotiated among those in power, all the while remembering that everyone is afraid of the scary HR lady down the hallway.  As the recession appears to deepen and run American business off the rails, its time we get real, get smart, get efficient and get right with one another.  If not, next thing you know, you'll be learning to spell Q-U-A-G-M-I-R-E yourself, wondering how the heck such a profitable enterprise could meet such a messy and costly end.

Here are some resources:

Difficult Workplace Conversations by Conflict Zen blogger Tammy Lenski - an old post but a timeless one.

Bursting the Bubble, Cultivating Dissent in the Workplace by mediator and negotiation trainer and consultant Diane Levin of The Mediation Channel.

Resolving Conflicts at Work by Ken Cloke and Joan Goldsmith.

The Martial Art of Difficult Conversations by Peter (why I returned my iPad) Bregman at the Harvard Business Review

Toward a Theory of Managing Organizational Conflict by M Afzalur Rahim (for the academically-minded)

And, last but not least, the google book site for the Art of War

And remember . . . . never ever ever get comfortable with a reporter around.

Notes on Breaking Impasse: Build a Golden Bridge

Build a Golden Bridge (from Getting Past No by William Ury)

first the problem

  • other side is stalling/resisting
    • lacks interest in your proposals
    • makes vague statements
    • delays
    • renegs on agreements
    • responds with a flat "no"

now the likely explanation for the problem

  • four most common reasons for impasse of this type:
    • it's not their idea
    • you're overlooking at least one of your counterpart's basic interests
    • your partner fears losing face
    • the decision seems too overwhelming; is too big and the time is too short, making it easier simply to say "no"

"Your challenge is to persuade the other side to cross the chasm that lies between their position and the agreement you want.  That chasm is filled with dissatisfaction, uncertainty and fear."

SOUND FAMILIAR????????

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Kagan: the Business Angle

Let the Kagan Games Begin: Whitepapers from SCOTUS Blog

(pictured:  the bread and circuses part)

Thanks to the SCOTUS Blog for the following resources on the upcoming Kagan hearings.  Follow SCOTUS Blog all week for commentary. 

Why should negotiators be interested in the composition of the Supreme Court?  Because the freedom to negotiate requires a strong rule of law culture.  And because everything we negotiate assumes the enforcement of certain agreements and non-enforcement of others, of particular interest to negotiators and ADR practitioners - arbitration agreements

SCOTUS whitepapers below:

Diversity Hiring

Abortion

Diversity on the Court

Gays in the Military

Corporate Rights (Citizen's United)

Conservatives

Executive Power

Kagan's Qualifications to Serve

 

 

 

 

"Politics is the art of saying 'we made it tougher' without making it really tough.

Volcker Rule under Attack as Lawmakers Seek Loophole:  full analysis from Bloomberg at the link; double-speak excerpt below.

“There’s pressure from both sides to toughen and to soften the Volcker rule, and politics is the art of compromise,” said Lawrence Kaplan, an attorney at Paul Hastings Janofsky & Walker LLP in Washington. “Running a hedge fund wasn’t the problem, and this way they’re saying all of it wasn’t bad, you just can’t use too much of your capital on it. Politics is the art of saying ‘we made it tougher’ without making it really tough.”

Thanks to the dynamic and brilliant Judy Martin for hipping me to this.  I think I need investment guru Whitney Johnson to explain it to me.

Ladies????  Or anyone else who'd care to explain the Volcker Bill to me, please chime in!

 

Ingratiation: a Contentious Negotiation Tactic

Acknowledging his own hyper-competitive spirit, a fellow dispute resolution colleague once told me if they wrote #1 in red ink on a Styrofoam cup, you and I would fight to the death for it.

Too sadly true.  Hence my posting the "Top 100 Dispute Resolution Blogs" ribbon from an outfit called "The Daily Reviewer."   Vanity, vanity . . . . see how TDR got me to link to its website!  Ingratiation!

Top conflict resolution blogs award

Settle It Now Negotiation Blog

Top conflict resolution blogs

 

 

 

 

"Winning" Workplace Arguments is Really Just Consensus Building

In  Workplace Negotiating Secrets From Bethenny's Shrink over at Forbes.com, Xavier Amador, the therapist on Bethany Getting Married? gives his "secrets" for "winning" workplace arguments.  What Amador suggests (below and at the link) is really just collaborative interest-based negotiation, but his catchy acronym - LEAP - is a good one to remember for all negotiations, whether you're brokering peace in the Middle East or getting your guy to put the toilet seat down.  If you read the article, and I highly recommend doing so,  you'll see that no one is "winning" any "argument."  Rather, people are finding ways to accomodate all of their needs simultaneously.


 

Amador, 50, uses many of the same methods with both individuals and corporate clients. His book I'm Right, You're Wrong, Now What?, lays out a strategy he calls LEAP, for listen, empathize, agree, partner. It applies to salary negotiations, to disagreements with partners or colleagues or underlings and even to challenging sales assignments.

An acronym enthusiast ("acronyms help me to remember"), Amador says the first step is "L," for listen. That may sound simple, but often it's very hard. In sales, for instance. Before he became a psychologist, Amador worked for an Arizona company that sold solar heating. Rather than simply trying to push his product, he found he got further if he patiently listened to his potential clients' objections.

Fincher on Diversity on Mid-Summer Night's Eve

Worth the Paper it's Written On? SCOTUS' Rent-A-Center West Decision

Asher Hawkins over at Forbes On the Docket legal blog foresees trouble for class action plaintiffs in the Supreme Court's Latest Arbitration-Friendly Ruling.  As Hawkins explains:

A minor Supreme Court victory this morning in an employment-related arbitration case has left the pro-arbitration camp hopeful that the justices will see things their way in a hotly anticipated consumer-related legal battle the court will hear next term.

This morning's ruling in Rent-A-Center West Inc. v. Jackson saw the court's conservative wing rule in favor of Rent-A-Center's push to have an arbitrator, and not a court, rule on the enforceability of an arbitration agreement between the company and an employee who'd filed an employment discrimination suit. In so holding, the five-justice majority reinstated a ruling from a Nevada federal court judge that had been reversed by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit.

Continue reading the Forbes' post here.

Hawkins and Rent-A-Center's attorney Carter Phillips of Sidley Austin may be reading the tea leaves correctly, but the Court's hyper-technical decision-dodging suggests the absence of a plurality on the real issue presented - whether the Court or the arbitrator should be making the decision whether the arbitration agreement is unconscionable or not.

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Can a Checklist Lead the Adversarial System Into the 21st Century?

Recently, I suggested that surgeon-author Atul Gawande's Checklist Manifesto pointed the way toward a more effective and efficient means of responding to frivolous claims than potentially protracted litigation. Skeletal checklists for just such dispute resolution processes are already in daily use by peer mediators in our public schools.  Because those lists are scalable, they can be readily adapted to address conflicts of far greater sophistication and complexity with minimal effort.

But before the solution,

The Problem

If your physician suggested 17th century medical treatment today - the use of leeches or "bleeding" to relieve your suffering -  patient and physician would soon be packed off to a quiet mental hospital for treatment.   Yet we continue to use dispute resolution processes little changed since the British abolished the Star Chamber in 1641 and enshrined the jury trial as the preferred Anglo-American response to conflict.

It is not simply the age of our adversarial processes that make them inefficient and ineffective today.   The system is inefficient because it has become encrusted with thousands of layers of procedural "improvements" over the course of 400 years - improvements that burden the ship of justice in the way barnacles weigh down ancient square-rigged Brigantines.  And they are ineffective because they are consistently and demonstrably prone to error.

As  the research reported in Beyond Right and Wrong:  the Power of Effective Decision Making for Attorneys suggests, the only sensible way to evaluate how well litigation is presently serving its purpose is to test the accuracy of the settlement decisions that resolve ninety percent of all lawsuits filed.  When researchers investigate those decisions, the error rates fly right off the charts.

According to Beyond Right and Wrong, Plaintiffs make so many settlement "decisional errors" that their interests would be better served by flipping a coin.   And though defendants make fewer such errors - they're still wrong 25% of the time.  And when they're wrong, they're very very wrong - averaging an unnecessary expense of nearly $1.5 million one time out of four.

If your contractor erred twenty-five percent of the time and if his error cost you $1.5 million on each of those occasions, you simply wouldn't hire him again.  Problem solved.  But what if all contractors erred to your considerable economic disadvantage 25% of the time?  What would you do? You'd reject contracting as a profession and seek out a new system for building a skyscraper, that's what you'd do.

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The Bet Din: Religious Dispute Resolution

Los Angeles has large orthodox and ultra-orthodox Jewish communities.   I have, on more than one occasion, been introduced by mediation clients to the Jewish justice system - the Bet Din.  I have mediated business disputes that have already been to the Bet Din and those that were destined to go there.

It is not my intention here to describe the Jewish laws requiring (or suggesting) resolution before a Bet Din, only to attach some resources here and link to others.

A "layman's guide" to Jewish Law (.pdf) (recommends mediation as one way of resolving a disputes)

The story of the stolen Torahs and the Bet Din's purported practice of "splitting the baby" below, including a blog post indicating that a Los Angeles Superior Court had been asked to confirm a Bet Din decision as an enforceable judgment.

California Civil Court Asked to Confirm Bet Din's Ruling on Torah Scrolls

Judge Rules against Rabbi's Widow in Torah Case reporting that the Los Angeles Superior Court has thrown out a religious court's decision to award four disputed Torahs to an Orthodox rabbi's widow who claimed that the scrolls had been stolen by her late husband's assistant.

Rabbi's Widow, LA Shul Fight Over Torah Scrolls (containing the reference to "splitting the baby")

Additional Resources

Website for a Los Angeles Din Torah Counselor.

Traditional Jewish Arbitration Panels Find New Converts

For all those past and present Honors Moot Court Board Members out there, an article on the North American High School Moot Beit Din

The London Beth Din for my British readers.

Please feel free to add to these resources.

 

 

The Next Craving Balance Negotiation Workshop Starts July 19

Lisa Gates of Craving Balance and I are doing it again!  An entire month of negotiation classes that will change your life. 

When Lisa and I planned our first month-long course (you can see the testimonials here) I told her that the women participating in it would make back the cost of the class in the first negotiation they conducted after the course ended.

I was wrong.

They made it back before the course was over  it back.  One participant said after the first weekly group teleconference,

I could drop out now and feel that I'd gotten more than what I paid for.

The response to our second course (now starting its third week) is even more powerful.  So powerful that an attorney I ran into at the recent WLALAPalooza event said,

I took your 90-minute free teleseminar and tripled my hourly rate in response.  I just did it today!  I'm so excited and so proud of myself!

So we've decided not to let the grass grow under our feet or yours.  We're offering the course again - with a  money-back guarantee - beginning on July 19.

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Negotiation as Rationalizing Numbers

Old.  But.  Priceless.

Give Your Market What it Wants and How it Wants It

Mediator:  You cannot mediate in the manner the Straus Institute taught you to do.  You have to come to terms with that.

Galileo was ordered to stand trial on suspicion of heresy in 1633. The sentence of the Inquisition was in three essential parts:  Galileo was found "vehemently suspect of heresy," namely of having held the opinions that the Sun lies motionless at the centre of the universe, that the Earth is not at its centre and moves, and that one may hold and defend an opinion as probable after it has been declared contrary to Holy Scripture. He was required to "abjure, curse and detest" those opinions.[102]

 

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Negotiating Your Divorce? There's an App for That

Thanks to Bob Ambrogi for the best law blog post of the year - Getting Divorced?  There are Apps for That.  Bob's also among the best lede crafters in the blawg business. Here it is:

If you’re married to your iPhone but not so sure about your spouse, then DivorceApps.com may have just what you need. It is developing a series of iPhone apps designed for people who are considering or in the process of divorce.

Read the full post here.

And hey! Ken Adams!  How about a contract drafting app?

Read Gawande's Checklist Manifesto!  Rinse.  Repeat.  App your legal specialty!

 

 

 

Women's Attitudes, Skills and Fears about Negotiation

The numbers below represent an unscientific poll of women in business concerning their skills, attitudes and fears about negotiation.  The women were asked to rate their agreement with the statements on a 1-10 scale with 1 being the least agreement and 10 being the greatest agreement.  The numbers represent the average answer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is an Excel spreadsheet of the data collected in this assessment.

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Mandatory Mediation Foreclosure Workout Bill Defeated

 

On Friday, a proposed Facilitated Mortgage Workout Program quietly passed from the California legislative scene after its defeat the day before, three votes shy of passage. Although the bill's proponents thereafter won a short stay of execution, the law making body's failure to reconsider the bill by Friday's deadline made it dead on arrival.

Given the concerted opposition of the lending and banking industries, as well as by the national Chamber of Commerce, it is surprising that the margin of the defeat was so narrow, suggesting that many in this (and other state legislatures) are continuing to feel considerable  pressure from their constituents to take bolder action in response to the nationwide housing collapse -- a collapse that has been particularly severe in the Golden State after years of annual double-digit inflation in housing prices.

Continue reading here.

Failure = Success . . . that's what I'm sayin'

Are You a Negotiator or a Bureaucrat? Clients Care

I'm lifting the entirety of Ken Adams' post The Connection Between Contract Drafting and Negotiation, along with the insightful comments to it.

The contract man!  Put his blog in your newsreader and pick up his Manual of Style for Contract Drafting today.  Today's post and comments follow.

I thought it worthwhile to scoop from the comments to my recent post on deal risk an exchange I had with Vickie Pynchon of the Settle It Now Negotiation Blog regarding the connection between drafting a contract and negotiating it.

Here’s the relevant part of Vickie’s comment:

I’ve been devising a negotiation class for transactional lawyers with a transactional attorney/negotiation professor in Northern California. I was surprised to hear him say that most transactional lawyers don’t possess negotiation skills—I always thought of them as the negotiation go-to guys. My new business partner says “no, they’re ‘write the deal up avoid risk’ guys.” That put transactional practice in an entirely different light. Do you think, Ken, that transactional attorneys would be better contract drafters if they were more involved in the negotiations leading to the deals they memorialize (or criticize)?

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Live Together, Die Alone: Things to Do in Response to the Oil Spill

Thanks to Yahoo Green's "how to help wildlife threatened by the oil spill."

I'm walking to my appointments today.  Because I can and because I can't get down to the Gulf to help out there.  Let's each do one small thing today.  And tomorrow.  Start a daily blog of "heal the Gulf" activities.  Tweet or post "things to do."  Call a friend or relative in the area and ask what you can do to help.  Observe a moment of silence for the BP workers killed in this disaster.  Say a prayer in honor of the wildlife most religions tell us to be responsible for.  Remember that the planet does not need us to survive.  It did quite well before us and will do quite well after us.  We need it. 

At its best, the negotiated resolution of conflict generates accountability among all of the stakeholders.  When we're accountable - when we take our part in it - the way in which we can transform our impotent outrage into productive action becomes instantaneously apparent. 

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If You're a Woman Ambitious Enough to Take This Course, $375 is Chicken Feed

UPDATE:  Something to keep in mind:

When Deepak Malhotra, co-author of the brilliant Negotiation Genius, taught business students at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, he required each one to “go negotiate something in the real world” and write a report about it.  As Babcock and Laschever report in Women Don’t Ask,

  • Of 45 students, 35 negotiated something for themselves and ten negotiated something for their employer;
  • The average savings realized by students who negotiated on their own behalves was $2,200;
  • The average savings realized by those who negotiated on behalf of their employers was a whopping $390,000;
  • When asked what the most important negotiation tactic had been, the students said “choosing to negotiate at all.”

From Women Don't Ask.

There's still time to sign up for the roof-raising "She Negotiates" online negotiation course.


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Closing the Wage Gap Rocking Your World

As the July She Negotiates workshop nears, I realize that the one force that might discourage women from participating is the same force the workshop is designed to (and will inevitably) resolve: the effect of the recession on women's already reduced earning power.

But let's take a look at what's at stake here - your economic future.

Why this is Mission Critical

The wage and income gap is stuck at 33% despite the gains made by women in business and the professions over the past thirty years. That's simply unacceptable to me. And because I know the reason why, I've committed myself to spreading the word and teaching the skills necessary to close that gap NOW.

You Know Why the Wage Gap Persists?

I believe I do.  I'm no social scientist, but I am an expert negotiator with a master of laws degree in conflict resolution and five years of full-time experience facilitating the negotiated resolution of commercial litigation.

I've been teaching women to negotiate for the past two years and here's what I learned - both on the ground and through extensive research.

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