What is the negotiator's true desire? 

S/he doesn't want to leave $$$ or value on the table?

PERIOD.

This great ABA article, How to Make a Losing Argument can be translated, almost point by point, into How to Lose the Negotiation (i.e., how to leave too much value on the table).  

The points?  It's worth your time to read the ABA article in full, but for the hassled and harried, here's the executive summary:

Argue with the [mediator]

Bury [the heart of the dispute] in clutter

Misstate the facts

Base your argument on obscure technicalities.

[Remembering that in negotiations, most legal positions constitute "obscure technicalities." Why?  Because only lawyers have legal problems -- people and business people have people and business problems.  Some of those problems -- about 10% -- fall within the purview of the law.  The rest of them and the remainder of the potential solutions have nothing whatsoever to do with the law. What do they have to do with?  Ask the parties.  They're the only ones who know.  Never think you already know what they are.]

Push a good point too far.

Of course I have more to say about all of these, but I've gotta run pick up burgers and buns to host N.Z. mediator Geoff Sharp and family to a true L.A. late October bar-b-q this evening.

FAVORITE BUMPER STICKER SIGHTING THIS WEEK:  You don't have to believe everything you think.