The negotiator's equivalent of "don't make a federal case out of it" is "what do you think you're doing, brokering a negotiated peace in the Middle East?"

Well (thanks -- again! -- to Geoff Sharp) we bring you negotiation tips from a guy who has brokered Middle East peace treaties -- Dennis Ross (Diplomacy: Talking Sense)  former Middle East envoy and chief peace negotiator for both the Clinton and Bush senior administrations.

(Ross' new book:  Statecraft and How to Restore America's Standing in the World, right)

Here, Ross gives us a twelve step list for effective negotiations (please go to the article itself for the detail; it's well worth the read):

1. Know what you want, know what you can live with.
2. Know everything there is to know about the decision maker(s) on the other side. 
3. Build a relationship of trust with the key decision maker. 
4. Keep in mind the other side's need for an explanation.
5. To gain the hardest concessions, prove you understand what is important to the other side. 
6. Tough Love is also required. 
7. Employ the good-cop, bad-cop approach carefully. 
8. Understand the value and limitations of deadlines. 
9. Take only calculated risks. 
10. Never lie, never bluff 
11. Don't paper over differences. 
12. Summarize agreements at the end of every meeting.