About Us

Victoria Pynchon

As the co-founder of She Negotiates Consulting and Training, I offer my services as a keynote speaker, trainer and consultant....

She Mediates

ADR Services, Inc.

She Negotiates

She Negotiates

The 33 cent wage and income gap is unacceptable and unnecessary. So is the cliché glass ceiling. Bottom line, our...

Good Night and Good Luck

I launched the Negotiation Law Blog on October 3, 2006, shortly after I'd earned my LL.M in Conflict Resolution from the Straus Institute at Pepperdine University School of Law.

I'm uncertain just how many months earlier I'd begun blogging on the free google "Blogger" template, but October 3 is as good a date as any to say I began blogging about conflict resolution, mediation, arbitration, and negotiation.

Here's my very first post: Legally Astute Negotiation. Taking a page from a Harvard Business School Professor, I stressed a principle that I would follow to this day - that "legally astute managers understand 'every legal dispute is a business problem, requiring a business solution.'" 

I had no idea where blogging would take me in the seven years between that day and today. I assumed I'd still be mediating litigated commercial cases of the type I'd handled as an attorney for {gasp} a quarter century.

I do mediate still, though I'm doing more organizational mediation than any other type. It's only recently that I realized mediation was a way station between the adversarial system and my true calling ~> returning to feminist activism with the pragmatism that marked my first entry into the second wave women's movement back in 1973 when I began work with the Center for Women's Studies and Services in San Diego as a college student.

Back then, I helped the Center put women to work in non-traditional fields, including breaking barriers to the employment of women at San Diego's largest employer, National Steel and Shipbuilding. It never occurred to me in all my years of legal practice that I'd ever return to "women's issues" let alone co-found a business devoted to closing the gender wage, income and leadership gaps.

If you told me in 1973 that forty years later there'd still be a wage gap, I wouldn't have believed you. But then I wouldn't have believed we'd legalize gay marriage, that Nixon would resign or that we'd have two women serve as the Secretary of State either. So there's been good with the bad.

Still, I never expected to be working with working women again, forty years later, proving again something profound Joseph Campbell once told Bill Moyers.

Schopenhauer, in his splendid essay called "On an Apparent Intention in the Fate of the Individual," points out that when you reach an advanced age and look back over your lifetime, it can seem to have had a consistent order and plan, as though composed by some novelist. Events that when they occurred had seemed accidental and of little moment turn out to have been indispensable factors in the composition of a consistent plot. So who composed that plot? Schopenhauer suggests that just as your dreams are composed by an aspect of yourself of which your consciousness is unaware, so, too, your whole life is composed by the will within you. And just as people whom you will have met apparently by mere chance became leading agents in the structuring of your life, so, too, will you have served unknowingly as an agent, giving meaning to the lives of others, The whole thing gears together like one big symphony, with everything unconsciously structuring everything else. And Schopenhauer concludes that it is as though our lives were the features of the one great dream of a single dreamer in which all the dream characters dream, too; so that everything links to everything else, moved by the one will to life which is the universal will in nature.

I've never been able to write a brief blog post. I have too much to say and never feel as if I have enough time to say it simply. Anyone still reading this blog will likely not be displeased to hear that I've finally decided to be really, really, really brief. And no one who knows me will be surprised that I simply can't be brief here.

So this is my last post here.

If you're still interested in anything I have to say, you can find me micro-blogging at Career Advice for the Short Attention Spanned on a tumblr platform. I managed to put the She Negotiates logo at the top (such technical skills I've gained!) to indicate that I'll be mainly talking about negotiation for women as I did over at Forbes for nearly three years.  I'll also continue writing long'ish'er blog posts over at She Negotates and at The Daily Muse.

And we'll always have the Negotiation Law Blog archives.



Comments (5)

Read through and enter the discussion by using the form at the end
Kit Bennett - November 17, 2013 6:41 AM

In some circles there's a saying, "Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again!". I'm glad that we've done the first, sad that this post marks the second, and glad yet again that there are still so many ways to do the third. I'll enjoy staying connected to the meaningful work that you share on those other platforms.

Jim W Hildreth - November 17, 2013 11:50 AM

Thank you for your vision, determination and sharing your passion for ADR, it is appreciated, you are respected and thanks for all your hard work. You have made a better world.

Victoria Pynchon - November 17, 2013 1:34 PM

Thanks so much Jim and Kit. It's been a privilege to serve a community of peacemakers, to be a part of that community and to let that community inspire me to continue working for peace with justice.

Christopher G. Hill - November 21, 2013 8:52 AM

Sorry to see this end, I've gotten great advice and inspiration from you "Musings" here. Let's keep in touch.

Erica - January 19, 2014 10:24 AM

Check out my new website!

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