1. the parties give up their view of a black/white, right/wrong, morally unambiguous narrative of their loss;
2. the parties often experience their loss for the first time because they must give up their belief that they will be completely vindicated at trial and fully compensated for what would otherwise be a loss;
3. one or both parties must accept their own and their opponents' human frailties as well as the role that circumstances beyond anyone's control played in their loss;
4. both parties must assume responsibility for their part in the loss-causing event (if any);
5. both parties must work together in good faith to arrive at a solution to what has become their mutual problem - the litigation and their inability to resolve their dispute without seeking the judgment of a third party who is a stranger to it;
6. one or both parties MAY experience forgiveness (giving and/or receiving); understanding; and, reconciliation with their opponent or simply with the way things are, i.e., often beyond our control but not beyond our ability to bear or our power to repair.