Mediation vignette. 

CCP 1942 tenant v. landlord action. 

Pl: This is a no-brainer. 175k

Def: They must be (expletive deleted) joking, offer 5k

Pl: They don’t understand the law. 134k

Def: This has only nuisance value. 20k

Pl: We are certain to get an award of attorney fees. Atty fees are 75k and counting.

Def: They are liars. Atty fees cannot exceed 10k

Mediator: Let’s deal with atty fees separately.

Pl: OK. 50k plus atty fees. (At this point, fees not specified.)

Def: No, we won’t settle piecemeal. 30k total.

Mediator: Hmm.

Def: 45k is our absolute max.

Mediator: How about 50? It’s an emotional number.

Def: (Thinks deeply). We will never offer it. But if they demand it, we will accept. Offer good for 10 minutes.

Pl: Good grief. Must talk with client privately and call co-counsel.

Mediator: Takes break and contemplates universal peace.

Pl: OK, 50k

Def: OK, 50k