About Us

Victoria Pynchon

As the co-founder of She Negotiates Consulting and Training, I offer my services as a keynote speaker, trainer and consultant....

She Mediates

ADR Services, Inc.

She Negotiates

She Negotiates

The 33 cent wage and income gap is unacceptable and unnecessary. So is the cliché glass ceiling. Bottom line, our...

Mothers: the Original Mediators

It’s been a long time since people confused mediation with meditation, but I’m still frequently asked “what’s a mediator?”

The answer is as simple as the process is deep.

A mediator is someone who understands how conflicts erupt into disputes, why people have so much trouble addressing them, and how to negotiate a resolution that serves both parties’ interests well enough to solve the problem or close the deal.

This process should sound familiar to every mother in the land. Mothers may, in fact, be the original mediators, the Old Gangsters of dispute resolution.

When I was teaching dispute resolution to high school students last week in connection with the launch of my book Success as a Mediator for Dummies, it occurred to me for the first time that every mother is a mediator.

Mothers are the OG’s of Dispute Resolution

Every day, every mother in the world helps explain a child’s bad mood to a sibling, breaks up a fight between a sister and a brother over the scarce resource of the last piece of cake, negotiates the international boundaries between Susie’s closet and her younger sister’s wardrobe, and mediates a long-simmering set of resentments between her sister’s husband and her own father.

This thought occurred to me when a teacher asked me to help mediate a mock dispute between two of her Freshman English students. Those 14-year old’s picked up the skill of asking open-ended questions to diagnose the cause of the faux dispute way faster than their teacher.

When she asked me why, I said, “beginner’s mind. You’re making assumptions about what caused the problem because you’ve got a heck of a lot of experience with similar fights between similar kids. Your students know they don’t know, so it’s easier for them to ask who, what, when, where, how and why.”

She smiled ruefully and nodded knowingly. And that’s the moment I realized all mothers are mediators who could use the strategies and tactics contained in my new mediation book even though it’s written for people who make a living doing what moms have always done.

Continue at Forbes Woman

No comments yet

Start the discussion by using the form below

Post a comment

Fill out this form to add a comment to the discussion
I'd like to leave a comment. is
,
is
,
is
is
  • 4media dvd ripper standard 5
  • adobe audition cs5.5 mac
  • adobe creative suite 4 web premium mac
  • autodesk building design suite ultimate 2012
  • techsmith camtasia studio 7
  • adobe flash builder 4.7 premium
  • adobe photoshop cs5 mac
  • corel wordperfect office x4 standard
  • adobe creative suite 6 production premium student and teacher edition
  • visual studio 2010 premium
  • autodesk maya 2013
  • nuance pdf converter professional 5
  • adobe cs6 production premium student and teacher edition mac
  • autodesk autocad electrical 2011
  • autodesk autocad map 3d 2009
  • pitney bowes mapinfo professional 11.5
  • adobe cs6 design standard student and teacher edition mac
  • infinite skills - learning bootstrap 2 mac
  • daz bryce 5.5
  • thegrideon access password professional 2.0
  • adobe flash professional cs5.5
  • autodesk navisworks manage 2009
  • microangelo toolset 6
  • autodesk alias design 2012 mac
  • parallels desktop 9 mac
  • futuremark 3dmark 05 pro
  • filemaker pro 11 advanced
  • adobe dreamweaver cc mac
  • infinite skills - advanced html5 training
  • autodesk autocad 2011 mac
  • excel 2010 all-in-one for dummies
  • adobe photoshop cs3 photographers guide
  • quarkxpress 10
  • camtasia studio 8
  • apple mac os x 10.8 mountain lion