Thanks to Ed. at Blawg Review for passing along this (somewhat rambling but well worth watching) lecture at Stanford University by  Deborah Kolb, the Deloitte Ellen Gabriel Professor for Women and Leadership at the Simmons College School of Management.  Hat tip to Guy Kawasaki's Holy Kaw! where Ed. picked it up.

Kolb appears to be saying that the research on "women don't ask" is somewhat skewed because it generally concerns distributive (single issue) negotiations; doesn't control for anything other than gender; and, gives experimental subjects "asks" that are not representative of real world negotiations.

The lecture also covers "gendered" work; organizational obstacles to women's commercial success; women's exclusion from rainmaking networks; the motherhood penalty; and, work's relationship to personal life. 

Kolb discusses the issues that must be addressed by the researchers before they can provide genuinely useful negotiation guidance to help women begin to close the wage gap in business and the professions.

Kolb touches on negotiating work-place flexibility - whether it is harmful to those who seek it and how Deloitte's Women's Initiative has shown that customized careers can benefit both genders and the organizations in which they work.

In a recent article at Women's Media - Listening to Women:  New Perspectives on Negotiation - Kolb and co-author Judith Williams have the following negotiation advice for women (which is also excellent advice for men)

• Take stock of your value. 
  People negotiate because they need something from you. Being clear about the value you bring empowers you in a negotiation.

• Make your value visible. 
  When value disappears, so do influence and bargaining power. The other person must be clear about the benefits to them from negotiating and the consequences of failing to do so.

• Anticipate challenges. 
  An effective advocate must be ready to move in the shadow negotiation not simply to promote her interests, but also to block any attempt to undermine her credibility. Once possible objections have been identified, they can be countered.

• Appreciate the other's situation. 
  Consider five good reasons the other party might use to justify his or her stand and create opportunities to talk about them.

• Make it easy for the other person to say yes. 
  Listen carefully for his or her ideas. Connect those ideas to yours and build on them to create agreements that meet both your needs.

• Pay attention to the other party’s image. 
  Image is a concern for everyone. How negotiators look to themselves and to others who matter to them often counts as much as the particulars of an agreement.