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      <title>Negotiation Law Blog - Power of Persuasion</title>
      <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/power-of-persuasion/</link>
      <description>Southern California Arbitration Mediation &amp; Conflict Resolution: Settle it Now Dispute Resolution Services: Serving Los Angeles, Beverly Hills, Century City</description>
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         <title>Negotiating with a Hospital for Transfer to Skilled Nursing</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>As you follow this series of negotiations with health care providers on behalf of a legally blind man with congestive heart failure, remember that more than sixty percent of us will spend some time in a nursing home if we&rsquo;re lucky enough to reach sixty-five years of age. This is a portrait of life in the United States at rock bottom &ndash; no income, no savings, and no family other than an ex-wife to whom our patient was last married in 1989.</p>
<p>In case you do not personally know someone who is dependent upon Medicare and whose circumstances could be severely impacted by the current federal budget negotiations, now you do.</p>
<p>Is there any chance your story will end where Joel&rsquo;s does? Do you believe you&rsquo;ll be able to afford Blue Cross premiums forever? Or that Blue Cross, or another health insurance provider will pay for skilled nursing facilities as long as you need them?</p>
<p>If you are a woman nearing retirement, the possibility that you will age in comfort is far less likely than the chance you will live out your final years in poverty. Presently, the U.S. poverty rate for people 65 and over is 9.7 percent &mdash; that&rsquo;s 3.5 million people who, if they are single, are living on less than $10,289 a year. Two-thirds of women over age 65 rely on Social Security as their primary source of income. Consequently, women are twice as likely as men to live out their golden years at or below poverty levels.</p>
<p>So, yes, this story is about negotiating with health care bureaucracies, but it is also about the way in which the richest country in the world treats the weakest members of the human family, family members who could well be us.</p>
<p><a href="http://blogs.forbes.com/shenegotiates/2011/07/21/negotiating-end-of-life-care-the-skilled-nursing-facility/#more-3365">Continue reading here</a> (which is also where all the links are)</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/power-of-persuasion/negotiating-with-a-hospital-for-transfer-to-skilled-nursing/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category>
         <pubDate>Thu, 21 Jul 2011 15:00:06 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Do You Have a Reason for that Number? Settling Lawsuits with Better Persuasion Skills</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>Explaining why our bargaining partners should do what we want them to do requires persuasion &mdash; a compelling account of our business requirements and capabilities &mdash; along with any other reasons we can gin up to prove that what we want is fair and reasonable.</p>
<p>As sociologist Charles Tilly explained in his book, Why? we fail to persuade when we&rsquo;re talking past each other and we talk past each other when we&rsquo;re using a type of reasoning different from that of our bargaining partner.  I first heard of Tilly&rsquo;s work from that great popularizer of social science research, Malcolm Gladwell (Here&rsquo;s Why) after which I never argued my case or negotiated a deal in the same way again.</p>
<p><strong>But First, Why Reason Giving is a Critical Negotiation Skill</strong></p>
<p>In experiments on reason giving, researchers have found that we are far more likely to persuade people to accommodate us if we give them a reason to do so even if the reason makes no sense whatsoever. In one experiment, students were asked to cut in line at Kinkos.  One group was instructed to give no reason. Another was told to give a good reason (I&rsquo;m late for class). The last was directed to give an irrational reason (because I want to).</p>
<p>Continue reading <a href="http://blogs.forbes.com/shenegotiates/2011/06/28/if-you-want-to-persuade-dont-talk-past-your-bargaining-partner/#more-3063">here</a>.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation/do-you-have-a-reason-for-that-number-settling-lawsuits-with-better-persuasion-skills/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category>
         <pubDate>Wed, 29 Jun 2011 09:14:02 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Do You REALLY Want Me to Be Evaluative?</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.adrservices.org/neutrals/michael-carbone.php"><img class="mt-image-left" style="float: left; margin: 0 20px 20px 0;" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/assets_c/2011/03/michaelCarbone-thumb-150x185-9805.jpg" alt="michaelCarbone.jpg" width="150" height="185" /></a>This just in from one of my colleagues at<a href="http://www.adrservices.org/"> ADR Services, Inc.</a>, <a href="http://www.adrservices.org/neutrals/michael-carbone.php">Michael P. Carbone</a>. Good stuff and an excellent mediator for commercial real estate and construction dispute litigation.</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>A mistake that lawyers sometimes make is failing to ask for what they want.&nbsp; If they do want an evaluation they can ask for it when they hire the neutral. There are processes variously known as neutral evaluation, non-binding arbitration, or early case assessment which are designed specifically for this purpose.&nbsp; They can be used independently or they can be combined with mediation.<br />&nbsp;<br />I was once hired to give a neutral evaluation in a commercial real estate case.&nbsp; The parties told me at the outset that while they were interested in exploring settlement they were really interested in my opinion on the merits.&nbsp; So we conducted a mediation that included a neutral evaluation.&nbsp; Not only did this meet their needs, the evaluation was given in a confidential setting and could not be used as evidence if they did not settle.<br />&nbsp;<br />The point is that both parties wanted the process to be evaluative.&nbsp; It was not a situation where one party was expecting the mediator to be evaluative and the other party wanted the mediator to refrain from doing so.<br />&nbsp;<br />When parties hire a mediator, they need to be of the same mind about the process. Otherwise the result will be like splitting a steak with your partner when one of you likes it rare and the other likes it well done. Somebody is going to get indigestion!</em></p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation/do-you-really-want-me-to-be-evaluative/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Advocacy</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Construction</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Mediation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category>
         <pubDate>Sat, 26 Mar 2011 09:51:52 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>




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         <title>Mediation, the Music Video </title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>
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<h2>Thanks to <a href="http://twitter.com/neildenny">@NeilDenny</a>&nbsp;of <a href="http://lawyer1point9.wordpress.com/">Lawyer 1point9&nbsp;</a> for the head's up.</h2>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation/mediation-the-music-video/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Advocacy</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Collaboration</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Confidentiality</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Construction</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Employment</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Ethics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/settlement">Federal Court</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Mediation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Outside the Box</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Settlement</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/settlement">State Court</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">The Courts</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Truth Justice and the American Way</category>
         <pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 2010 14:51:46 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>&quot;You Park Like an Asshole&quot;  ~ How Not to Commence Negotiations</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Grownups-ABCs-Conflict-Resolution/dp/0986766607"><img class="mt-image-left" style="float: left; margin: 0 20px 20px 0;" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/assets_c/2010/11/book-thumb-185x142-3979.jpg" alt="book.jpg" width="185" height="142" /></a><a href="http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1661145">Priming Legal Negotiations</a>&nbsp;is the winner of this week's Golden Asshole Award. /* &nbsp;</strong>An autographed copy of <em>A is for Asshole, the Grownups' ABCs of Conflict Resolution</em> will be winging its way to author <a href="http://apps.law.asu.edu/Apps/Faculty/Faculty.aspx?individual_id=51268">Carrie Sperling, Executive Director of the Arizona Justice Project</a>&nbsp;today! &nbsp;Excerpt below. &nbsp;Full article at the link. &nbsp;</p>
<p>Thanks to the <a href="http://lawprofessors.typepad.com/legalwriting/2010/11/writing-negotiation-demand-letters.html">Legal Writing Prof Blog</a> for the head's up.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>As I left for work one crisp, sunny April morning, I&nbsp;spotted a five-by-seven printed form on my car&rsquo;s front&nbsp;windshield. The form&rsquo;s message proclaimed, in large, bold&nbsp;letters, &ldquo;youparklikeanasshole.&rdquo; The form had a checklist of&nbsp;infractions like &ldquo;two spots, one car,&rdquo; &ldquo;that&rsquo;s a compact?&rdquo; and&nbsp;&ldquo;over the painted lines.&rdquo;The bottom of the printed form said,</em></p>
<p><em>Parking is far too limited in our overcrowded streets and&nbsp;parking lots, and you happened to park like an asshole. Go to&nbsp;the above web site to see why someone else thought you parked&nbsp;like an asshole. Don&rsquo;t be too offended, we all do it one time&nbsp;or another&mdash;it just so happens you got caught.</em></p>
<p><em>My next-door neighbor, who evidently put the note on my&nbsp;car, listed my infraction as &ldquo;other&rdquo; with a follow-up&nbsp;explanation written by hand: &ldquo;You are parking too close to my&nbsp;garage. It&rsquo;s hard for me to pull my truck in.&rdquo; I studied the&nbsp;note for a few moments. I felt my heart start to pound and my&nbsp;whole body became uncomfortably warm. I wadded the note and&nbsp;tossed it. I was angry. When I arrived at work twenty minutes&nbsp;later, I was still angry. I told my co-workers about the note.</em></p>
<p><em>They all agreed with me; it was rude and inappropriate.</em></p>
<p><em>When I returned home that evening, I visited with neighbors&nbsp;who were not complaining about my parking. I showed them the&nbsp;note, now crumpled and dirty. They, too, became angry. One&nbsp;neighbor suggested exacting revenge on the note&rsquo;s author by&nbsp;letting the air out of his tires. Another neighbor excitedly&nbsp;suggested something involving Crisco. Although I am a trained&nbsp;mediator, I became giddy about the prospect of getting even.</em></p>
<p><em>Perhaps it was a moment of self reflection that led me to&nbsp;question why I was even thinking of revenge. But that written&nbsp;demand evoked intense emotions in me and in my neighbors. We&nbsp;did not care about investigating appropriate responses or&nbsp;attempting to resolve the problem; we wanted to make my neighbor&nbsp;pay for his rude behavior. Instead of encouraging me to change&nbsp;my behavior in the way my neighbor requested, the note had an&nbsp;entirely different effect. The written demand prompted me to&nbsp;make my neighbor regret placing that note on my windshield.</em></p>
<p><em>This incident led me to question the legal demand letters&nbsp;lawyers write. I wondered if demand letters often evoke similar&nbsp;negative emotional reactions in their recipients. And, if so,&nbsp;do those emotions influence the recipients&rsquo; behaviors in ways&nbsp;that hinder settlement?</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>I'll be providing a template for a negotiation <em><strong>request</strong></em> letter later today.</p>
<p>And all kidding aside, this article should be required reading for every legal writing class in every law school in the country!</p>
<p>Cross-posted at <a href="http://abcsofconflict.com/2010/11/15/you-park-like-an-asshole-how-not-to-commence-negotiations/"><em>The ABCs of Conflict Resolution Blog</em></a>.</p>
<p>__________________</p>
<p>*/ &nbsp;The Golden Asshole Award is given once a month to the individual making the greatest contribution to reducing assholishness in the profession.</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/abcs-of-conflict-resolution/you-park-like-an-asshole-how-not-to-commence-negotiations/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">ABC&apos;s of Conflict Resolution</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Legal Practice</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Outside the Box</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">She Negotiates</category>
         <pubDate>Mon, 15 Nov 2010 04:36:14 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>










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         <title>Extreme Negotiations at HBR</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>Check out <a href="http://hbr.org/2010/11/extreme-negotiations/ar/1"><em><strong>Extreme Negotiations</strong></em> at Harvard Business Review</a> this month (kicker: &nbsp;What U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan have learned about the art of managing high-risk, high-stakes situations).</p>
<p>I have to tell you that I believe every one of our <a href="http://shenegotiates.com">She Negotiates</a> graduates understands and knows how to use the bullet point takeaways from Extreme Negotiations below. &nbsp;Let me also say it's not enough to read about these techniques ~ you must practice practice practice practice.</p>
<p><strong>Get the Big Picture</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>avoid assuming you have all the facts</li>
<li>avoid assuming the other side is biased but you're not</li>
<li>avoid assuming the other side's motivations and intentions are obvious and nefarious</li>
<li>instead, be curious ("help me understand"); humble ("what do I do wrong?") and open-minded ("is there another way to explain this?")</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Uncover and Collaborate</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>avoid making open-ended offers ("what do you want")</li>
<li>avoid making unilateral offers ("I'd be willing to . . . "</li>
<li>avoid simply agreeing to or refusing the other side's demands</li>
<li>instead ask "why is that important to you?"</li>
<li>proposed solutions for critique ("here's a possibility - what might be wrong with it?")</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Elicit Genuine Buy-in</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>avoid threats ("you'd better agree, or else . . . "</li>
<li>avoid arbitrariness ("I want it because I want it."</li>
<li>avoid close-mindedness ("under no circumstances will I agree to - or even consider - that proposal"</li>
<li>instead appeal to fairness ("what <em>should</em> we do?")</li>
<li>appeal to logic and legitimacy ("I think this makes sense because . . . ")</li>
<li>consider constituent perspectives ("how can each of us explain this agreement to colleagues?"</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Build Trust</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>avoid trying to "buy" a good relationship</li>
<li>avoid offering concessions to repair actual or perceived breaches of trust</li>
<li>instead explore how a breakdown in trust may have occurred and how to remedy it</li>
<li>make concessions only if they are a legitimate way to compensate for losses owing to your nonperformance or broken commitments</li>
<li>treat counterparts with respect, and act in ways that will command theirs.</li>
</ul>
<p><strong>Focus on process</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>avoid acting without gauging how your actions will be perceived and what the response will be</li>
<li>ignoring the consequences of a given action for future as well as current negotiations</li>
<li>instead talk about the process ("we seem to be at an impasse; perhaps we should send some more time exploring our respective objectives and constraints."_</li>
<li>slow down the pace: &nbsp;("I'm not ready to agree, but I'd prefer not to walk away either. &nbsp;I think this warrants further exploration.")</li>
<li>issue warnings without making threats: &nbsp;("unless you're willing to work with me toward a mutually acceptable outcome, I can't afford to spend more time negotiating")</li>
</ul>
<p>I'll be blogging on each one of these steps in the negotiation process for the next two weeks so stay tuned.</p>
<p>Cross posted at <a href="http://www.shenegotiates.com/blog/">She Negotiates</a> and the <a href="abcsofconflict.com">ABCs of Conflict Resolution</a>.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/abcs-of-conflict-resolution/extreme-negotiations-at-hbr/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">ABC&apos;s of Conflict Resolution</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Negotiation Strategy</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Outside the Box</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Settlement</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">She Negotiates</category>
         <pubDate>Sun, 14 Nov 2010 08:47:42 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>How to get a raise in 2011 (the bullet point outline with a special note for women)</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<ul>
<li><strong>UNCOUPLE YOUR PRESENT VALUE FROM WHAT YOU MADE LAST YEAR</strong><br /> 
<ul>
<li>your present compensation serves as a powerful anchor of your value to your employer's advantage</li>
<li>the following suggestions are a way of re-anchoring that value so that your starting point is greater than what you made this year</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>&nbsp;recalibrate your value according to what you are worth in your employer's hands, i.e., what does your employer save or make based upon the work you do (this may require research on your part)</li>
<li>use that value in setting your desired compensation (also include the cost to your employer of replacing irreplaceable you) </li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>ASK DIAGNOSTIC QUESTIONS</strong> 
<ul>
<li>begin asking your employer and superiors diagnostic questions (questions designed to learn what your employer needs, desires and prefers and what your employer is most concerned about in regard to the continued profitability of his/her business) 
<ul>
<li>"how's business" is a great open ended diagnostic question that does not assume the answer</li>
<li>more specific questions include "what does the company need to accomplish in the first quarter of 2011 to meet its financial goals?"; "what are the company's first quarter financial goals?" "what do you see as the primary obstacles to achieving those goals?"  "what do you see as the primary drivers of success in reaching those goals" etc. etc.</li>
<li>don't ask these questions impromptu; write them down as a way of brainstorming the most powerful questions and those that would be easiest to ask</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>]]><![CDATA[<ul>
<li><strong>A NEGOTIATION IS SIMPLY A CONVERSATION LEADING TO AGREEMENT</strong>&nbsp;
<ul>
<li>start the negotiation conversation over lunch or coffee and do so casually (sharing food is a bonding experience because food stimulates the release of the body's trust-building hormone&nbsp;<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin">oxytocin</a>)</li>
<li>use the first raise conversation to ask diagnostic questions and show interest in the interests of the company as well as in the interests of the individual you're sharing a meal with</li>
<li>in other words, use the first conversation as a trust building exercise and as a way of distinguishing yourself as a valuable self-starting employee whose concerns go beyond your own personal welfare</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li><strong>WHEN YOU'RE READY TO NEGOTIATE THE RAISE</strong>, "unpack" your value to your company and your own short, medium and long-term goals 
<ul>
<li>as a result of the diagnostic questions you've asked, you should have a list of the ways in which your employment contributes directly to the company's bottom line profit and you should monetize each one of those items of value</li>
<li>your monetized value should be at least two times what you're going to ask for by way of compensation ~ this shows your employer what a great&nbsp;<em>deal</em>&nbsp;you are</li>
<li>turn as many dollar items into other benefits as you can; that makes the $$$ request less daunting to your employer, i.e., flex-time, vacation, bonuses based on value delivered, and don't forget how valuable your employer's interest in your own career growth is to you&nbsp;</li>
<li>ask to be included in activities that will result in promotions and greater opportunities for client or product development or sales (a young attorney, for instance, would ask for greater case responsibility; more opportunities for direct client contact; more time to concentrate on building her own book of business, etc.)</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>THE ASK</strong>&nbsp;- name your price first and to make your first number aggressive but not outlandish 
<ul>
<li>you need at least three numbers to negotiate with - high, medium and bottom line</li>
<li>start with your high number</li>
<li>consider linking your high number to performance contingencies, i.e., if I do X and Y as I've promised, then my total compensation for 2011 will be Q; these performance contingencies can also be tied to the company's performance in 2011.</li>
<li>don't give all your reasons for your raise at the same time; you need a good reason for each of your high, medium and bottom line numbers - each round of negotiation requires "a number and a reason"</li>
<li>when making concessions, consider trading items of high value to you and low value to your employer, i.e., it doesn't cost your employer anything to let you work from home one or two days a week but it may well save you significant monies over the course of the year in transportation and incidental costs (this is called "log rolling")</li>
<li>go to your medium number reluctantly and stress that you are making a concession and expect reciprocity</li>
<li>go to your bottom line number only when you've completely run out of options</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>PRETEND YOU ARE NEGOTIATING FOR SOMEONE ELSE</strong> 
<ul>
<li>we women have a particular challenge in negotiating for ourselves because asking for ourselves contravenes gender norms</li>
<li>the research shows that we negotiate as effectively as men when we're negotiating for another but not when doing so for ourselves - so make yourself your own client and go out there and get the best deal for&nbsp;<strong><em>her</em></strong></li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<ul>
</ul>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/advice-for-young-lawyers/how-to-get-a-raise-in-2011-the-bullet-point-outline-with-a-special-note-for-women/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Advice for Young Lawyers</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Ask for It!</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Compensation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Legal Practice</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Negotiation Strategy</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">She Negotiates</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Social Psychology</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Wage Gap</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Women</category>
         <pubDate>Sat, 13 Nov 2010 08:10:51 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Gen Y Learns to Negotiate on the Streets of Naples</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>&nbsp;<a href="http://www.forbes.com/2010/10/19/negotiation-bargaining-barguing-forbes-woman-leadership-women.html"><img width="418" height="491" alt="" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/Barguing.jpg" /></a></p>
<p>Click on the ForbesWoman link for the newest &quot;She Negotiates&quot; columnist, Roxana Popescu who here not only learns the lessons of street haggling, but who &quot;outs&quot; herself as <a href="http://thedailyasker.blogspot.com/">the Daily Asker</a>!</p>
<p>Nothing, and I mean <strong><em>nothing </em></strong>makes me happier than watching this new generation of women grow. Please drop by <a href="http://thedailyasker.blogspot.com/">the Daily Asker</a>&nbsp;and<a href="http://forbes.com/forbeswoman"> ForbesWoman</a> to meet the brilliant and inspirational Roxana!</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation/gen-y-learns-to-negotiate-on-the-streets-of-naples/</link>
         <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation/gen-y-learns-to-negotiate-on-the-streets-of-naples/</guid>
         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Ask for It!</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">She Negotiates</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Women</category>
         <pubDate>Tue, 19 Oct 2010 13:13:31 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Negotiating Women on Blog Talk Radio Tonight (8/24) at 8 p.m. EDT</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/women-on-the-move/2010/08/25/women-on-the-move-presents-minding-our-business"><img vspace="5" hspace="5" border="5" align="right" alt="" style="width: 263px; height: 320px;" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/Blog Talk Radio.jpg" /></a>Cross-posted at <a href="http://shenegotiates.com"><em>She Negotiates</em></a>.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/women-on-the-move/2010/08/25/women-on-the-move-presents-minding-our-business">At 8 PM</a> <a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/women-on-the-move/2010/08/25/women-on-the-move-presents-minding-our-business"><em>Women on the Move</em></a> gets down to business with attorney <strong>Victoria Pynchon</strong>, author of the <em>Settle It Now Negotiation Blog</em>,  who has been called a &ldquo;master of conflict resolution and deposition  skills.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Victoria recently became a regular contributor to <a href="http://blogs.forbes.com/people/vpynchon/"><em>Forbes.com&rsquo;s &ldquo;On the Docket&rdquo;</em> column</a>.</p>
<p><em><strong>You can call in with questions!&nbsp; <br />
</strong></em></p>
<p><em><strong>Call-in Number: (347) 857-2102<br />
</strong></em></p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation/negotiating-women-on-blog-talk-radio-tonight-824-at-8-pm-edt/</link>
         <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation/negotiating-women-on-blog-talk-radio-tonight-824-at-8-pm-edt/</guid>
         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Ask for It!</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Compensation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Craving Balance Course</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Gender Bias</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Glass Ceiling</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Market Value</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">She Negotiates</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Social Psychology</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Volunteering</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Wage Gap</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Women</category>
         <pubDate>Tue, 24 Aug 2010 11:28:50 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>An Open Letter to Women ADR Professionals to Join Us at the WLALA Gala on September 16</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.fashionmefabulous.com/2009_05_01_archive.html"><img vspace="5" hspace="5" border="5" align="right" alt="" style="width: 144px; height: 144px;" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/fabulous+necklace.jpg" /></a>Dear Fabulous Women Neutrals of Los Angeles:</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">One last time!!  before the door closes on the opportunity to have your picture in the  WLALA Tribute book and to share two tables with your fellow neutrals at  the <a href="http://www.wlala.org/cde.cfm?event=315796">WLALA annual Installation Dinner and Gala</a>.</b>&nbsp;</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have three more places at the table and on that  ad.&nbsp; I need your check for $175 and a .jpg by Friday to put you in it!&nbsp;  Please, let's show WLALA how eager we are to <i>cross-refer business.</i></p>
<div class="gmail_quote">
<div>This is a particularly good year to join us as we begin the first WLALA ADR initiative in its nearly 100 year history.<br />
<br />
<img width="140" vspace="6" hspace="6" height="180" border="6" align="left" alt="" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/2032516_com_charlotte_.jpg" /><a href="http://www.law.stanford.edu/library/womenslegalhistory/">ONE HUNDRED YEARS! of women lawyers</a> - <b><i>way</i></b> past time to  reach and firmly occupy the higher reaches of the profession.&nbsp; We've  been graduating from the nation's law schools in nearly equal numbers  with men for more than 20 years.&nbsp; My own U.C. law school class (King  Hall, '80) was 50% women <i>thirty </i>years ago.<br />
<br />
The ADR pipeline is full of competent -- indeed glorious -- women.&nbsp; Yet the statistics at the top remain grim.<br />
<br />
<b><i>Chopped Liver?</i></b><br />
<br />
Why is your ADR practice not everything that Tony Piazza's or Eric  Green's or even Steve Cerveris' is?&nbsp; Research shows that both men <i>and </i>women have <i><b style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">negative implicit attitudes toward women in leadership and authority positions</b>.&nbsp; </i>The good news is that <i>women </i>are <i>slightly less pre-disposed </i>than are men to picture a man in a suit when they're looking for access to money and power.&nbsp; I've had at least half a dozen <i>women</i> commercial litigators look straight at me and say &quot;I don't <i>know </i>any women mediators.&quot;<br />
<br />
<i><b>Huh????<br />
<br />
</b></i>Followed by, &quot;well their names are never on the lists [circulated in my firm].&quot;<br />
<br />
<b style="color: rgb(102, 0, 0);"><i>Women, with their slightly reduced inability to &quot;see&quot; women in  authority positions, are our foot in the door. And the new WLALA ADR  Committee is our opportunity to open that door wide.</i></b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.cpradr.org/"><img vspace="5" hspace="5" border="5" align="left" alt="" style="width: 139px; height: 60px;" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/CPRLogo[1].gif" /></a>As a member of the <a href="http://www.cpradr.org/tabid/222/q/dvtf/default.aspx" target="_blank">CPR-led Joint Task Force on Diversity</a>, I have heard  the verdict of JAMS and the AAA.&nbsp; &quot;The market has spoken.&nbsp; Commercial  lawyers just don't hire women and minorities.&quot;<br />
<br />
<i><b>What????</b></i><br />
<br />
We're advocates, for goodness sakes.&nbsp; When we come into town we have to  register our skills of persuasion with local law enforcement authorities.&nbsp; We're  change agents, opinion makers, powerful holders of the keys to the  kingdom.&nbsp; <b><i><br />
<br />
And the market has spoken?&nbsp; </i></b><br />
<b><i><br />
<span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">We make the market!</span></i></b><br />
<br />
This year's ADR Committee is dedicated to closing the gaping void  between men and women neutrals.&nbsp; We're not going to ask for special  treatment, picket the LASC's ADR office, pass new laws or burn our ADR  certificates, Super Lawyer plaques, Ivy League diplomas, or our <i>bras </i>(not at <i>this </i>age!)<i>.&nbsp; <br />
<br />
<b style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">We're going to market like no one  has ever marketed before and we're going to do so as a group so that we  don't each hesitate, as we women tend to do, to promote ourselves and  our services.</b></i><br />
<br />
<img width="250" vspace="5" hspace="5" height="188" border="5" align="right" alt="" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/glassceiling.jpg" />2010 and 2011 will be the years in which <i>top women will refer to other  top women</i>.&nbsp; 2010 and 2011 will be the years in which we close the income  gap <i>not only</i> between men and women neutrals but between men and  women lawyers (its 40% at the top).&nbsp; 2010 and 2011 will be the  years in which we make a market younger women lawyers will be entering  in the next decade and the one after that -- one in which they'll  flourish after they grow weary of fighting over interrogatory objections  and e-discovery.<br />
<br />
<i><b>How?</b></i><br />
<br />
Marketing.&nbsp; Proctor and Gamble does&nbsp; <i>not </i>say, &quot;well, the market doesn't <i>want </i>a  new improved laundry detergent.&quot;&nbsp; P&amp;G asks &quot;how?&quot; not &quot;can we?&quot;&nbsp;  And it certainly never says &quot;we give up, the market has spoken.&quot; <br />
<br />
We're putting our first stake in the ground on September 16 at the&nbsp; WLALA Gala.&nbsp; <i>There's no event more important for women neutrals to attend this year.&nbsp; </i><br />
<br />
Our current attendees will appear in two full-page ads in the Tribute  Book and two color flyers to be distributed at the dinner.&nbsp; <br />
<br />
To date those women are <span> </span><b>Eleanor Barr, Joan Kessler, Lynne Bassis, Katherine Edwards, Laurel Kaufer, Linda Klibanow, Denise Madigan, Stephanie Maloney, Deborah Rothman, Jan Frankel Schau, Gretchen Taylor, Caroline Vincent, Diane Wayne, Linda Bulmash, Lisa Gates </b>(my <a href="http://shenegotiates.com/" target="_blank"><i>She Negotiates</i></a> business partner), <b>Kathy Balin,</b> and <b>Erica Bristol.</b>&nbsp; <br />
<br />
We need <i>three more women neutrals to fill table two.&nbsp; </i>If you want to<i> sit</i>  at another table, ask a woman litigator to change places with you while  whispering &quot;cross-refer&quot; in her ear.&nbsp; The key is that you'll be there  to network.&nbsp; You'll show your support to WLALA by showing up and WLALA  women (among the most entrepreneurial in the Bar) will see your  beautiful face and panel affiliation or business name in the&nbsp; Tribute  Book while enduring the inevitably tedious speeches at these events.&nbsp; <br />
<br />
Do you want to double your income by 2012?&nbsp; If we've lasted this long in  a profession that was solidly male when so many of us were in high  school, we can close this gap by coming together and <i>just doing it.<br />
<br />
</i><img width="170" vspace="5" hspace="5" height="90" border="5" align="left" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/m_62e18bb32b2f46139e470c050ac11cfd.jpg" alt="" />And if the $175 is too steep a price during these recessionary times  or if you'll be out of town or otherwise engaged on the 16th of  September, please let me know that you want to be a member of the new  WLALA Committee by return email.<br />
<br />
Our first event will be an afternoon on arbitration in October with CPR  CEO Kathy Bryan and other powerful women attorneys, GC's and CEO's who  arbitrate, either as advocates, as clients or as arbitrators.&nbsp; The panel  will be moderated by complex-commercial AAA arbitrator Deborah Rothman.<br />
<br />
Shock me!&nbsp; Let's fill Table Three!!<br />
<br />
I look forward to hearing from you and to kicking the last pitiful shards out of that darn glass ceiling.<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
<br />
Vickie</div>
</div>
<p>Victoria Pynchon, Esq., Incoming Chair, WLALA ADR Committee<br />
<a href="http://www.adrservices.org/neutrals/victoria-pynchon.php" target="_blank">ADR Services, Inc.</a> and <a href="http://shenegotiates.com">She Negotiates Consulting and Training</a></p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation/an-open-letter-to-women-adr-professionals-to-join-us-at-the-wlala-gala-on-september-16/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Arbitration</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Business Development</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Conflict Resolution</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Gender Bias</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Glass Ceiling</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Legal Practice</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Market Value</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Mediation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">She Negotiates</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Wage Gap</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Women</category>
         <pubDate>Thu, 19 Aug 2010 12:42:04 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Virtual Property, Virtual Litigation and Real Resolution</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><img width="214" vspace="5" hspace="5" height="172" border="5" align="right" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/Joan-Miro-Dog-Barking-at-the-Moon.jpg" alt="" />I&nbsp;continue to bark at the moon.</p>
<p><a href="http://articles.latimes.com/2010/apr/30/business/la-fi-lazarus-20100430">Here's a piece I&nbsp;missed in April on real litigation filed over virtual property in Second Life</a>.</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>Architect  David Denton spends much of his time on a lush tropical island, where  he experiments with cutting-edge building designs and creates spaces for  artists to showcase their work.</em></p>
<p><em><!-- Module ends: article-byline--><!-- Module starts: a-body-first-para (ArticleText) --></em></p>
<p><em>Never mind that the island only  exists in the virtual-reality world of <a href="http://secondlife.com/">Second Life</a>, a popular online  venue where people interact via digital avatars. Denton, 62, said he  purchased the island for about $700 &mdash; real money, not virtual cash &mdash;  from its former owner, and considers it his property.</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Here's the thought this article triggers.&nbsp; If 90% of all litigation involving <em>people </em>(I'll skip corporate litigation <em>and </em>litigation brought to vindicate rights such as that declaring Prop 8 unconstitutional) will end with a retired Judge telling the <em>people </em>that litigation is too expensive and a jury trial too uncertain for them to bear, why don't we just litigate <em>virtually </em>(with <a href="http://secondlife.com/whatis/currency.php">Linden dollars</a>!) giving the parties the <em>experience </em>of litigation that will eventually drive them to settlement?</p>
<p>I'm sure some smart programmer can come up with an algorithm for most personal disputes, including both factual templates and the application of simple legal principles.&nbsp; A &quot;ticker&quot; could keep track of the dollars your virtual attorney is billing on your law suit's screen everyday.&nbsp; Continuances, discovery motions, pre-trial proceedings and depositions could all be simulated.</p>
<p><em>Then </em>the parties return from the virtual life of Second Life Litigation and sit down in the old fashioned way to negotiate a resolution to their dispute or, if necessary, hire a village elder <em>trained in conflict resolution</em>, sometimes called a mediator, to help them do so.</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation/virtual-property-virtual-litigation-and-real-resolution/</link>
         <guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation/virtual-property-virtual-litigation-and-real-resolution/</guid>
         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Advocacy</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Collaboration</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Conflict Resolution</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Legal Practice</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Mediation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Outside the Box</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Settlement</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">The Courts</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Truth Justice and the American Way</category>
         <pubDate>Sun, 08 Aug 2010 09:37:10 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Kagan and the Magic Number Three</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>More important than her religious background (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Jewish_United_States_Supreme_Court_justices">Jewish</a>) her Ivy League Credentials (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Harvard_Law_School_alumni#Federal_Court_judges">Harvard</a>) her progressive, liberal or conservative Democrat political leanings, is the prospect that Kagan's addition to the Supreme Court will result in the magic number of three women on the United States Supreme Court.&nbsp;</p>
<p><img width="480" vspace="5" hspace="5" height="305" border="5" align="textTop" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/06rfd-image-blogSpan.jpg" alt="" /></p>
<p>Why is three the magic number?</p>
<p>Recent studies have shown that <a mce_href="http://shenegotiates.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/three-women.pdf" href="http://shenegotiates.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/three-women.pdf">it  takes three women corporate board members to avoid the deliterious effects of group think on corporate decision making </a>- my own supposition on the question &quot;why three&quot; being that one or two women easily risk falling into male <a mce_href="http://www.psysr.org/about/pubs_resources/groupthink%20overview.htm" href="http://www.psysr.org/about/pubs_resources/groupthink%20overview.htm">group-think</a>.&nbsp;  This isn't male bashing, by the way. I&nbsp;assume three men on an otherwise all woman's board would have a similar performance enhancing effect.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>]]><![CDATA[<p>Because group-think is the enemy of negotiated resolutions on every   scale, here's a list of its symptoms to help you diagnose whether your  law firm; litigation team; in-house legal department; corporate board;  non-profit; political party; or, even your extended family might be the  victim of group think.</p>
<blockquote> <blockquote>
<ol>
    <li><i>Illusion of       invulnerability &ndash;Creates excessive optimism   that encourages taking  extreme      risks.</i></li>
    <li><i>Collective      rationalization &ndash; Members discount warnings  and  do not reconsider  their      assumptions.</i></li>
    <li><i>Belief in  inherent      morality &ndash; Members believe in the   rightness of their cause and  therefore      ignore the ethical or moral   consequences of their decisions.</i></li>
    <li><i>Stereotyped  views      of out-groups &ndash; Negative views of  &ldquo;enemy&rdquo;  make effective responses  to      conflict seem unnecessary.</i></li>
    <li><i>Direct  pressure on      dissenters &ndash; Members are under  pressure  not to express arguments  against any      of the group&rsquo;s  views.</i></li>
    <li><i>Self-censorship  &ndash;      Doubts and deviations from the  perceived  group consensus are not  expressed.</i></li>
    <li><i>Illusion of       unanimity &ndash; The majority view and judgments  are  assumed to be  unanimous.</i></li>
    <li><i>Self-appointed       &lsquo;mindguards&rsquo; &ndash; Members protect the group  and  the leader from  information      that is problematic or  contradictory  to the group&rsquo;s cohesiveness,  view,      and/or  decisions.</i><i><br />
    </i></li>
</ol>
<p><i>When the above     symptoms exist in a group that is trying to   make a decision, there is a     reasonable chance that groupthink will   happen, although it is not  necessarily    so.&nbsp; Groupthink occurs when   groups are highly cohesive and when they  are under    considerable   pressure to make a quality decision.&nbsp; When pressures for    unanimity   seem overwhelming, members are less motivated to  realistically      appraise the alternative courses of action available to them.&nbsp; These    group    pressures lead to carelessness and irrational thinking since   groups    experiencing groupthink fail to consider all alternatives and   seek to  maintain    unanimity.&nbsp; Decisions shaped by groupthink have  low  probability of  achieving    successful outcomes.</i></p>
</blockquote> </blockquote>
<p>From <i><a mce_href="http://www.psysr.org/about/pubs_resources/groupthink%20overview.htm" href="http://www.psysr.org/about/pubs_resources/groupthink%20overview.htm">What   is Groupthink&nbsp; </a></i>at<i> the <a mce_href="http://www.psysr.org/" href="http://www.psysr.org/">Psychologists  for Social Responsibility  site</a>.</i></p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/settlement/federal-court/kagan-and-the-magic-number-three/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Conflict Resolution</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/settlement">Federal Court</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Legal Practice</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Outside the Box</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">She Negotiates</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Social Psychology</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">The Courts</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Truth Justice and the American Way</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/she-negotiates">Women</category>
         <pubDate>Tue, 11 May 2010 10:43:21 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>She Negotiates Blawg Review #263</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="snap_preview">
<p><a href="http://shenegotiates.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/pricing.jpg"><img hspace="5" height="196" border="5" align="left" width="204" vspace="5" alt="" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-218" title="She Negotiates" src="http://shenegotiates.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/pricing.jpg?w=204&amp;h=196" /></a>She&rsquo;s <a href="http://shenegotiates.ning.com/">She Negotiates</a>, the newest  blawg on the block, taking the baton from <a href="http://publicintellectual.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/blawg-review-262/">The  Public Intellectual&rsquo;s brilliant Blawg Review #262</a>, and getting  ready&nbsp; to host Blawg Review #263 for <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day">Mother&rsquo;s Day 2010</a></p>
<p><strong><em>She negotiates <a href="http://blawgreview.blogspot.com/">Blawg  Review</a>.</em></strong></p>
<p>In addition to celebrating <em>mothers, </em>we&rsquo;ll be celebrating all  women who negotiate (do you know any who don&rsquo;t?) posting Blawg Review  #263 on all of <a href="http://shenegotiates.wordpress.com">She Negotiates'</a> pages &ndash;&nbsp; <a href="http://shenegotiates.wordpress.com/networks/">She Networks</a>, <a href="http://shenegotiates.wordpress.com/about/">She Resolves</a>, <a href="http://shenegotiates.wordpress.com/she-succeeds/">She Succeeds</a>  and <a href="http://shenegotiates.wordpress.com/she-transforms/">She  Transforms</a>, as well as on the <a href="http://shenegotiates.wordpress.com/">She Negotiates posting page</a>.</p>
<p>So if you&rsquo;re a legal blogger and you have Blawg Review envy, now&rsquo;s  your big chance.&nbsp; Join <a href="http://shenegotiates.ning.com/">She  Negotiates to Power Her Dreams</a> (it&rsquo;s free!) and leave your link at  the group <a href="http://shenegotiates.ning.com/group/blawgreview263">&ldquo;Blawg  Review #263</a>.&rdquo;</p>
<p>The first woman legal blogger who joins <a href="http://shenegotiates.ning.com/">She Negotiates to Power Her Dreams</a>  and <strong>leaves a May 3-week post beginning with the words</strong>,  <em>she negotiates, she succeeds, she networks, she resolves </em>or <em>she  transforms</em> will <strong><em>win a free ticket to the Negotiation  for Women Workshop</em></strong> at the <a href="http://www.womenscityclub.com/location.php">Pasadena Women&rsquo;s City Club</a> on  June 10 (7-10 p.m.) with attorney-mediator, arbitrator and negotiation  trainer <a href="http://negotiationlawblog.com/">Victoria Pynchon</a> and  east-coast business negotiation guru <a href="http://www.hvbiz.com/video/john-tinghitellas">John Tinghitella.<br />
</a></p>
<p>The second woman legal blogger will win a free autographed copy of  the book (due out in the <em>very late </em>Spring) <em><a href="http://www.facebook.com/ABCsofConflict?ref=ts">A is for A**hole,  the Grownups&rsquo; ABC&rsquo;s of Conflict Resolution</a>.</em></p>
<p>The <em>third woman legal blogger </em>will win a reduced priced  month-long online personally tutored <a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/guest-expert-courses/">She  Negotiates! Workshop at Craving Balance</a> ($175 for a course costing  $375).&nbsp; As with the last workshop Victoria Pynchon taught with <a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/lisa-gates/">life-balance coach and  trainer Lisa Gates</a>, they guarantee that any woman fully  participating in the course <a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/guest-expert-courses/">will make  back its cost within thirty days of taking it or </a><em><a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/guest-expert-courses/">her money  back</a>!</em></p>
<p>So get ready to celebrate the woman who negotiate, network, resolve,  succeed, and transform with a nod to mom for Blawg Review #263!</p>
<p><strong>What women are saying about the Craving Balance Negotiation Course:</strong></p>
<blockquote>
<p>&quot;I learned more during this hands-on negotiating course than in another  higher priced class.&nbsp; Victoria and Lisa helped me make the emotional  changes necessary to demand a higher value for my work, and taught a  step by step process for getting the most from sales negotiations.&quot;&nbsp;  </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Linda Gryczan, Helena, Montana</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
</div>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/blawgs/she-negotiates-blawg-review-263/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Blawgs</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category>
         <pubDate>Tue, 04 May 2010 10:45:49 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Differences in Men&apos;s and Women&apos;s Conflict Negotiation Styles</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><img border="5" align="right" vspace="5" hspace="5" alt="" style="width: 255px; height: 220px;" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/women and conflict.jpg" />I'm blogging about gender and negotiation this month because March is <a href="http://www.womenshistorymonth.gov/">National Women's History Month</a> and March 8th was the <a href="http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/08/three-proven-steps-to-advance-the-worlds-women-on-international-womens-day/">100th anniversary of </a>International Women's Day (commenced in 1910, a full decade before the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_suffrage_in_the_United_States">Nineteenth Amendment would grant U.S. women the right to vote</a>).&nbsp;</p>
<p>Today I stumbled over the post <a href="http://www.biztimes.com/news/2008/11/14/women-deal-with-conflict-differently-than-men">Women Deal with Conflict Differently than Men</a>, reporting on a study done by the Program on Negotiation at Harvard in 2008.&nbsp; Results of the study showed the following similarities between men and women including:</p>
<ul>
    <li>Integrating, the ability to meet the needs of both parties; and,</li>
    <li>Compromising as a strategy, except women showed a &quot;high level of agreement that every issue has room for negotiation&quot;</li>
</ul>
<p>The differences included:</p>
<ul>
    <li>women's tendency to choose equal distributions when compromising which the researchers apparently ascribed to women's greater concern with fairness;</li>
    <li>competitiveness - with men scoring 25% more competitive than their female counterparts</li>
    <li>&quot;smoothing,&quot; with women engaging in that behavior 20% more of the time than men - smoothing being defined as &quot;giving in to the other party while ignoring one's own needs&quot;</li>
    <li>avoiding or withdrawing with women doing so 30% more than men</li>
    <li>expressing feeling, with women apparently doing so &quot;more&quot; than men but no percentages are provided</li>
</ul>
<p>We'll be working with gender differences through the end of the month of March and will likely discuss this data in more detail later.</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation/differences-in-mens-and-womens-conflict-negotiation-styles/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Collaboration</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Conflict Resolution</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Settlement</category>
         <pubDate>Sun, 21 Mar 2010 17:02:04 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Resources on Women and Negotiation in Honor of Women&apos;s History Month</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>I'm sure you've noticed that we're celebrating negotiating women here this month in honor of <a href="http://www.internationalwomensday.com/">International Women's Day</a> and <a href="http://www.nwhp.org/">National Women's History Month</a>.&nbsp; Other than tomorrow night's free negotiating women teleseminar with super coach Lisa Gates, I'm celebrating by posting in one place all of my articles on negotiating women.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.nwhp.org/"><img width="500" vspace="5" hspace="5" height="100" border="5" align="textTop" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/nwhpbanner.jpg" alt="" /></a></p>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2006/11/articles/social-psychology/the-power-of-beauty/">The  Power of Beauty</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Nature gives you the face you have at 20; it is up  to you to merit the face you have at 50. -- Coco Chanel A local judge  who has four beautiful young law students working for him this summer...</em></p>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2007/06/articles/advice-for-young-lawyers/tips-from-forbes-a-word-with-women-negotiate-your-first-salary/">Tips  from Forbes &amp; a Word with Women:  Negotiate Your First Salary</a></strong></p>
<p><em> If you're entering the job  market, you'll want to check out Forbes' Magazine's Tips for Negotiating  Your First Salary. If you do not negotiate your first salary, you stand  to lose half a million dollars over..</em>.</p>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/04/articles/negotiation/ask-for-it-how-women-can-use-the-power-of-negotiation-to-get-what-they-really-want/">Ask  for It:  How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They  Really Want</a></strong></p>
<p><em>I didn't realize until I got onto the plane out of  Seattle that Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever -- our morning plenary  session speakers (<a href="http://www.womendontask.com/">Women Don't Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide</a>) --  have written a new book -- Ask...</em></p>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/04/articles/blawgs/negotiating-your-midlife-career-crisis-with-360-career-coach-lisa-gates/">Negotiating  Your Mid-Life Career Crisis with Career Coach Lisa Gates</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Practicing law, particularly litigation, is often  frustrating, sometimes humiliating, and frequently simply dispiriting.  On the other hand, the practice of law can be thrilling, intellectually  stimulating, challenging, absorbing, and a darn good way to make a good  living. When you...</em></p>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/05/articles/negotiation/is-hillary-negotiating-her-withdrawal-so-says-cokie/">Is  Hillary Negotiating Her Withdrawal?  So Says Cokie</a></strong></p>
<p><em>From <a href="http://www.wowowow.com/conversation/cokie-roberts-hillary-is-negotiating-her-withdrawal">Women on the Web's Conversation Today Cokie  Roberts: 'Hillary Is Negotiating Her Withdrawal' with Lesley Stahl</a> Q&amp;A with ABC News correspondent Cokie Roberts. Excerpt below:  LESLEY: Let&rsquo;s talk about Hillary. I&rsquo;m wondering, how do you explain</em>..</p>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/05/articles/legal-practice/must-read-for-all-women-negotiating-law-firm-life/">Must  Read for All Women Negotiating Law Firm Life</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Below is my review in The Complete Lawyer of Lauren  Stiller Rikleen's must-read book </em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ending-Gauntlet-Removing-Barriers-Success/dp/0314960376"><em>Ending the Gauntlet: Removing Barriers  to Women's Success in the Law</em></a><em>. Concluding paragraph: At bottom, this  book calls for management practices that will benefit all attorneys...</em></p>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/08/articles/mediation/collaboration-1/clinton-speaks-on-88th-anniversary-of-womens-suffrage/">Clinton  Speaks on 88th Anniversary of Women's Suffrage</a></strong></p>
<p><em>(Right, women protesting, 1912. My own grandmother  was 12 years old at the time this photo was taken. By the time she was  old enough to vote in 1921, she could vote) Why women's voting rights  and Hillary Clinton's DNC.</em>..</p>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2009/09/articles/negotiation/negotiating-women-at-forbeswoman/">Negotiating  Women at ForbesWoman</a></strong></p>
<p><em>If you're a certain age, you'll remember women's  magazines as mostly &quot;Can This Marriage Be Saved&quot; (The Ladies Home  Journal to which PWNSC members Cathy Scott's and Cordelia Mendoza's  mother was always submitting articles) or 101 Things to do with...</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2009/05/articles/negotiation/negotiating-against-the-grain-of-gender/">Negotiating  Against the Grain of Gender</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Yesterday, we talked about the different negotiation  styles of men and women. Today, we're going to explore how men can  benefit from learning women-speak and women can benefit from learning  man-talk. All of the data relied upon and excerpted below...</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2009/05/articles/negotiation/negotiation-101-gender-war-or-gender-peace-and-prosperity/">Negotiation  101:  Gender War or Gender Peace and Prosperity?</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Although I am indisputably a &quot;woman lawyer,&quot; I have  never thought of myself in those terms. I'm a lawyer. And I'm a woman.  I'm also a writer, a step-mother, a wife, a daughter, a river rafter,  and an aficionado of...</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2009/04/articles/negotiation/negotiating-women-on-new-day-talk-radio-easter-sunday-noon/">Negotiating  Women on New Day Talk Radio Easter Sunday Noon</a></strong></p>
<p><em>(and, yes, I am not only old enough to remember the  &quot;Second Wave&quot; Women's Movement, I took a quite serious role in it,  first as an unpaid volunteer and later through the federal government's  &quot;Program for Local Service&quot; at...</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/12/articles/negotiation/negotiating-women-5th-and-final-part/">Negotiating  Women:  5th and Final Part</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Thanks again to Vicki Flaugher of  SmartWomanGuides.com for inviting me to have this conversation with her  about ways in which women can and do maximize their bargaining power.  And yes we do talk about negotiating the purchase of an automobile...</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/12/articles/negotiation/negotiating-women-part-iv/">Negotiating  Women Part IV</a></strong></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/12/articles/negotiation/negotiating-women-part-iii/">Negotiating  Women Part III</a></strong></p>
<p><em>This segment of my interview with Vicki Flaughter is  primarily about why women don't negotiate - to their substantial  economic detriment - (see Women Don't Ask Here) and what they can do  about it....</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/12/articles/negotiation/negotiating-women-part-ii/">Negotiating  Women Part II</a></strong></p>
<p><em>In part two of Vicki Flaugher's interview with me,  we discuss ways in which women can comfortably respond to aggressive  zero-sum distributive bargainers and negotiate better business deals  using their natural strengths. I'd like to once again thank Vicki  Flaugher..</em>.</p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2008/12/articles/negotiation/negotiating-women-never-negotiate-out-of-fear-but-never-fear-to-negotiate-/">Negotiating  Women:  Never Negotiate Out of Fear, But Never Fear to Negotiate --</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Video below is part I of an interview on negotiation  challenges, strategies and tactics for women with Vicki Flaugher,  founder of SmartWoman Guides. The full audio of the video is here along  with Ms. Flaugher's kind comments about our conversation....</em></p>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2010/03/articles/negotiation/negotiating-women-free-teleseminar-at-craving-balance/">Negotiating  Women:  Free Teleseminar at Craving Balance</a></strong></p>
<p><em>How to Negotiate Anything: Free Intro Thursday, Mar  18, '10 8pm EST Some researchers say that women's failure to negotiate  working conditions, salary or other compensation--along with their  hesitancy to seek what they're worth when they do negotiate--is one  of...</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2010/03/articles/truth-justice-and-the-american/women-bloggers-proclaim-national-womens-history-month/">Women  Bloggers Proclaim National Women's History Month</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Whereas American women of every race, class, and  ethnic background have made historic contributions to the growth and  strength of our Nation in countless recorded and unrecorded ways;  Whereas American women have played and continue to play a critical...</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2010/03/articles/conflict-resolution/update-on-gender-diversity-in-the-judiciary-and-in-adr/">Update  on Gender Diversity in the Judiciary and in ADR</a></strong></p>
<p><em>When I posted Negotiating Gender: Why So Few Women  Neutrals? I had not yet found a source for the statistical  representation of women neutrals on the American Arbitration Association  Panel. I've now located an article on the AAA website from...</em></p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2010/02/articles/conflict-resolution/negotiating-gender-why-so-few-women-neutrals/">Negotiating  Gender:  Why So Few Women Neutrals?</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Although most of the major providers of alternative  dispute resolution services tout their commitment to diversity in the  ranks of their neutrals, the coloration of nearly all ADR panels  continues to be white; the nationalities European; and the gender  male..</em>..</p>
</div>
<div>
<p><strong><a href="/2010/02/articles/negotiation/women-negotiation-and-the-persistent-wage-gap/">Women,  Negotiation and the Persistent Wage Gap</a></strong></p>
<p><em>Thanks to Ed. at Blawg Review for passing along  this (somewhat rambling but well worth watching) lecture at Stanford  University by Deborah Kolb, the Deloitte Ellen Gabriel Professor for  Women and Leadership at the Simmons College School of Management...</em>.</p>
</div>
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<p>&nbsp;</p>
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         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation/resources-on-women-and-negotiation-in-honor-of-womens-history-month/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Advocacy</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Collaboration</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Conflict Resolution</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">International Diplomacy</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Legal Practice</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Mediation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Settlement</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Truth Justice and the American Way</category>
         <pubDate>Wed, 17 Mar 2010 11:36:28 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Free Twitter Negotiation Seminar on Never Again Doing It Free</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>You know all the statistics about women's failure to negotiate their first salaries, their car purchases, their raises, their rates, and their price points.&nbsp; If you don't, run over to <a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/lisa-gates/">Lisa Gates</a> <a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/">Craving Balance Blog</a> right now for the straight skinny on women and negotiation (<a href="http://www.cravingbalance.com/craving-balance/2010/3/15/why-women-must-negotiate-now-more-than-ever-before.html">Why Women Must Negotiate Now than Ever Before</a>).</p>
<p>What both Lisa and I are finding with our women clients (women are Lisa's market and my quarter-market) is that they're always <em>doing stuff for free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! &nbsp;</em>Let's not waste our time analyzing <em>why</em> we do this.&nbsp; Let's just <em>stop doing it. &nbsp;</em></p>
<p>
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<p>Run on over to the Commercial ADR Blog right now to see - yes - Lisa's and my <em><a href="http://bizadr.com/2010/03/17/421/">free </a></em><a href="http://bizadr.com/2010/03/17/421/">Twitter negotiation seminar</a> where I take Lisa through a very short negotiation role play to help her negotiate a price for her services rather than simply saying &quot;yes.&quot;</p>]]></description>
         <link>http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/legal-practice/free-twitter-negotiation-seminar-on-never-again-doing-it-free/</link>
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         <category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/mediation">Advocacy</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Deal Making</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Legal Practice</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Mediation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Money</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Negotiation</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/negotiation">Negotiation Strategy and Tactics</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Power of Persuasion</category><category domain="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/">Settlement</category>
         <pubDate>Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:38:56 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Two New Blogs to Help You &quot;Win&quot; Your Settlement Negotiation</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><img vspace="5" hspace="5" border="5" align="right" alt="" style="width: 261px; height: 253px;" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/blog.jpg" />Yes, Virginia, lawyers do &quot;win&quot; mediated settlement negotiations every work day.&nbsp; They do so by:</p>
<ol>
    <li>their reputation for success at trial;</li>
    <li>their ability to choose the right moment to first discuss settlement;</li>
    <li>their ability to &quot;control&quot; their team and their client (&quot;control&quot; being a legal term for good client relations arising from top notch client communication skills);</li>
    <li>their negotiation skill set - both in terms of long-term strategy and &quot;at the table&quot; tactics;</li>
    <li>their persuasive skill set - both with opposing counsel and with the mediator;</li>
    <li>their ability to conduct a risk-benefit analysis that approximates the true likelihood of their probable success at trial;</li>
    <li>their determination to make aggressive but reasonable first offers;</li>
    <li>their possession of and willingness to stick to a set of flexible &quot;bottom lines&quot; that give them sufficient room to &quot;horse trade&quot; and &quot;hang the meat low enough for the dog to smell it; </li>
    <li>their ability to bring the right people to the table at the right time; and,</li>
    <li>their ability to walk away without dramatics if the other side is unwilling to negotiate in the realm of reality.</li>
</ol>
<p>Some of these skills are in all litigators' arsenals.&nbsp; Where most litigators are the weakest is in the negotiation of settlements.&nbsp; I know it not only because it was my greatest area of weakness (&quot;I'm paid to <em>win </em>not to settle&quot;) but because I see it evidenced in mediation when attorneys bargain half the day away in the useless strato- and nano-spheres.</p>
<p>Here are two new resources you should have at hand every working day.&nbsp; &quot;Having blog resources at hand,&quot; by the way, means having a <a href="http://www.google.com/reader/view/#overview-page">google or other news reader</a> to send you RSS feeds.&nbsp;</p>
<p><strong>Decision Tree Analysis</strong> - <a href="https://paperchace.com/decision-trees/">the Decision Tree Analysis Blog</a> by <a href="https://paperchace.com/">PaperChace</a>.&nbsp; There's a t<a href="https://paperchace.com/register.php">en-day free trial of PaperChace's decision tree analysis software for mediators</a>, a free trial I'll take advantage of once the $^%@# book is finished (any day now, really).&nbsp; Laywers <em>love </em>numbers in the way only people who don't understand them can.&nbsp; I've had cases settle promptly as soon as everyone has put themselves to the task of making numeric estimates of their chances of success on the merits at any given stage of the litigation.&nbsp; For making the uncertain certain and depressing overly optimistic client expectations there's nothing quite like numbers.&nbsp; Do check it out.</p>
<p>There's another mediation blog to read as well, but not simply &quot;yet another&quot; blog by yet another mediator.&nbsp; This is <a href="http://www.americaninstituteofmediation.com/pg35.cfm">Lee Jay Berman</a>, one of the best and busiest mediators in town, the teacher of thousands in Pepperdine's internationally known and respected <a href="http://law.pepperdine.edu/straus/training-and-conferences/mediating-litigated-case/malibu.htm">&quot;Mediating the Litigated Case</a>&quot; and President of his own mediation think-tank and training station - the <a href="http://www.americaninstituteofmediation.com/">American Institute of Mediation</a>.</p>
<p>The blog, <a href="http://eyeonconflict.com/">Eye on Conflict</a>, will deliver to you <em>free of charge </em>the wisdom, education and training you'd otherwise pay thousands of dollars for.&nbsp; Listen, I spent two full years at the Straus Institute earning my LL.M in dispute resolution and <em>every time&nbsp;</em>I talk to Lee Jay he tells me something that improves my ability to help lawyers negotiate settlement 100%. &nbsp;Today <a href="http://eyeonconflict.com/?p=117">Lee Jay mourns the passing of a giant in our field - Richard Millen</a>.&nbsp; As you read Lee Jay's tribute, you come to understand just how deeply embedded he and his vision are in mediation theory and practice in Southern California.</p>
<p>Put these two dynamite resources in your news reader and be as good a settlement negotiator as you are a litigator and trial attorney.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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         <pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 10:49:14 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Motion to Compel Lunch:  Granted</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><img border="5" align="left" vspace="5" hspace="5" alt="" style="width: 275px; height: 275px;" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/LUNCH1.jpg" /></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Thanks to Roger Wood at the <a href="http://blog.carpenterhazlewood.com/roger/?p=26">Association Law and Other Musings Blog</a> for passing along the <a href="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/file/Lunch.pdf">Order for Lunch</a> issued by the Maricopa County Superior Court (.<a href="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/file/Lunch(1).pdf">pdf</a>) excerpted below.&nbsp; Roger generously shared this truly glorious Order (and supporting opinion that you can read in the .pdf) over at <a href="http://constructionlawva.com/">Construction Law Musings</a> today in response to my Guest Post there (&quot;<a href="http://constructionlawva.com/how-to-get-sued/">How to Get Sued</a>&quot;).&nbsp;</p>
<p>Thanks Roger!&nbsp; This didn't just make my day; it made my year!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;<strong>Plaintiff&rsquo;s Motion to Compel Acceptance of Lunch Invitation</strong></p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>The Court has rarely seen a motion with more merit. The motion will be granted.</em></p>
<p><em>The Court has searched in vain in the Arizona Rules of Civil Procedure and cases, as well as the leading treatises on federal and Arizona procedure, to find specific support for Plaintiff&rsquo;s motion. Finding none, the Court concludes that motions of this type are so clearly within the inherent powers of the Court and have been so routinely granted that they are non-controversial and require no precedential support.</em></p>
<p><em>The writers support the concept. Conversation has been called &ldquo;the socializing instrument par excellence&rdquo; (Jose Ortega y Gasset, Invertebrate Spain) and &ldquo;one of the greatest pleasures in life&rdquo; (Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence). John Dryden referred to&ldquo;Sweet discourse, the banquet of the mind&rdquo; (The Flower and the Leaf).</em></p>
<p><em>Plaintiff&rsquo;s counsel extended a lunch invitation to Defendant&rsquo;s counsel &ldquo;to have a discussion regarding discovery and other matters.&rdquo; Plaintiff&rsquo;s counsel offered to &ldquo;pay for lunch.&rdquo;&nbsp; Defendant&rsquo;s counsel failed to respond until the motion was filed. </em></p>
<p><em>Defendant&rsquo;s counsel distrusts Plaintiff&rsquo;s counsel&rsquo;s motives and fears that Plaintiff&rsquo;s counsel&rsquo;s purpose is to persuade Defendant&rsquo;s counsel of the lack of merit in the defense case.</em></p>
<p><em>The Court has no doubt of Defendant&rsquo;s counsel&rsquo;s ability to withstand Plaintiff&rsquo;s counsel&rsquo;s blandishments and to respond sally for sally and barb for barb. Defendant&rsquo;s counsel now makes what may be an illusory acceptance of Plaintiff&rsquo;s counsel&rsquo;s invitation by saying, &ldquo;We would love to have lunch at Ruth&rsquo;s Chris with/on . . .&rdquo; Plaintiff&rsquo;s counsel. 1<br />
___________<br />
1 Everyone knows that Ruth&rsquo;s Chris, while open for dinner, is not open for lunch. This &nbsp; is a matter of which the Court may take judicial notice.</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Read on by clicking on the .pdf above.</p>
<p>And how could I resist adding the &quot;will you go to lunch!&quot; scene from David Mamet's <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104348/">Glengarry Glen Ross</a>.</p>
<blockquote> </blockquote><blockquote> </blockquote>  <object width="560" height="340">
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         <pubDate>Fri, 29 Jan 2010 16:13:34 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Negotiating Fallacy:  Diane Levin&apos;s Brilliant Fallacious Arguments Posts</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://mediationchannel.com/about/about-diane-levin/"><img hspace="5" border="5" vspace="5" align="left" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/levin_upclose.jpg" style="width: 181px; height: 300px;" alt="" /></a>If you're following this blog but not <a href="http://mediationchannel.com">Diane Levin's Blog The Mediation Channel</a>, I&nbsp;have good news for you.&nbsp; Diane is an extremely focused, disciplined and lively writer.&nbsp; She's also one of the brightest and most canny negotiators, mediators and negotiation trainers I know.</p>
<p>Diane describes her series, <a href="http://mediationchannel.com/category/fallacious-argument-of-the-month/">Fallacious Argument of the Month</a>, as follows:</p>
<blockquote>
<p style="margin-left: 80px;"><em>With the goal of promoting clearheaded and reasoned debate and improving discourse, each month I skewer a different fallacy.</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Before giving you entree to this excellent series, let me first note that these arguments <strong><em>do not justify </em></strong>any movement in your negotiation position.&nbsp; Remember - you need a <em>new number </em>and a <em>new reason&nbsp;</em>to counter that new number.&nbsp; If your mediator or negotiating partner expects you to give up something, he'd better have a darn good reason for you to do so.&nbsp; If you're a lawyer representing a party, you can feel your client figuratively or literally tugging on your sleeve when you offer more or agree to accept less in the absence of a justification that makes <em>business sense.</em></p>
<p><a href="http://mediationchannel.com/category/fallacious-argument-of-the-month/">The Appeal to Authority</a></p>
<p><a href="http://mediationchannel.com/2009/12/06/fallacious-argument-of-the-month-argumentum-ad-hominem/">Argumentum ad Hominem</a> (this one is so irritating it can <em>create </em>impasse where none previously existed)</p>
<p><a href="http://mediationchannel.com/2009/11/16/fallacious-argument-of-the-month-in-pursuit-of-the-red-herring/">The Red Herring</a></p>
<p><a href="http://mediationchannel.com/2009/10/13/fallacious-argument-of-the-month-the-confusion-of-cause-and-effect/">Confusing Cause and Effect</a></p>
<p><a href="http://mediationchannel.com/2009/09/11/fallacious-argument-of-the-month-misusing-the-ellipsis/">The Misleading Ellipsis</a> (to which I&nbsp;add this caution ~~&gt; the quickest path from respected advocate to deceitful scoundrel is the misleading ellipsis - Judge, Arbitrator, Mediator and Opponent will all distrust your <em>bona fides</em> from that date forward; if you can't think of a better argument, fall on your sword on this issue and create a better one just over the next hill).</p>
<p><a href="http://mediationchannel.com/2009/08/03/fallacious-argument-of-the-month-the-false-analogy/">The False Analogy</a></p>
<p><a href="http://mediationchannel.com/2009/07/06/fallacious-argument-of-the-month-the-straw-man-argument/">The Straw Man</a></p>
<p>Diane adds one new fallacious argument every month.&nbsp; I'll endeavor to keep up with her.&nbsp; But more reliably, get her RSS feed, add it to your <a href="http://www.google.ca/reader/">google reader</a> and never again be without the wisdom of this brilliant mediator and negotiation trainer and consultant.&nbsp; That's her smiling face at top.&nbsp; Visit her often! at <a href="http://mediationchannel.com">The Mediation Channel</a>.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>]]></description>
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         <pubDate>Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:17:04 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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         <title>Do Attorneys&apos; &quot;Get in the Way&quot; of Mediator Assisted Negotiations?</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><img vspace="5" hspace="5" border="5" align="right" src="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/image/Indras-Net.jpg" alt="" style="width: 261px; height: 203px;" />The not so secret opinion among mediators is that attorneys <em>make settlement more di</em><em>fficult.&nbsp; </em>Just as lawyers are heard to say that &quot;litigation would be <em>great</em>&nbsp;if it just weren't for the <em>clients</em>&quot; (a &quot;problem&quot; only class action plaintiffs' lawyers have actually <em>resolved</em>), mediators&nbsp; tend to say &quot;mediation would <em>great</em>&nbsp;if it weren't for the <em>lawyers.&quot; </em></p>
<p>Esteeming the rule of law in America as I&nbsp;do (<a href="http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2007/aug/03/lawfare-amid-warfare/">especially in the recent era of its greatest peril</a>) I have never seen <em>lawyers </em>as a problem&nbsp;in facilitating settlement of the lawsuits they have been eating, drinking, sleeping and,&nbsp;<em>dating</em>&nbsp;for years longer than I've spent reading their briefs and engaging in some pre-mediation telephone discussions. &nbsp;</p>
<p>I can't say lawyers are a problem because: &nbsp;(1) they're my job; and, (2) they're&nbsp;&quot;my people&quot; in the &quot;tribal&quot; sense.&nbsp; A few bad apples aside, lawyers are among the hardest working, most ethical, creative, multi-talented professionals I know. &nbsp;And&nbsp;they are pretty much solely responsible for fighting the battle, on every common weekday, to preserve the rule of law as a bulwark against tyranny on the right and anarchy on the left.</p>
<p>It was therefore no surprise to see a recent Harvard Negotiation Journal article (thanks to <a href="http://www.adrtoolbox.com/biography.php">Don Philbin</a> of the <a href="http://www.karlbayer.com/blog/">Disputing Blog</a> and his<a href="http://www.adrtoolbox.com/index.php"> indispensable ADR Toolbox</a>) that one group of academics has asked whether attorneys have a <a href="http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/uploads/file/The Negative Impact of Attorneys on Mediation Outcomes -- A Myth or a Reality.pdf">Negative Impact . . . on Mediation Outcomes</a>.</p>
<p>Let's start with this particularly widespread canard from the article:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>Attorneys may delay the settlement of a dispute through mediation for financial reasons. For example, the payment of professional fees on the basis of hours worked could motivate the attorney to delay the settlement of the dispute to increase the number of hours billed to the client&nbsp; (citations omitted).&nbsp; Such non financial reasons as a desire to build or preserve a reputation for &ldquo;hardball negotiating&rdquo; in highly publicized cases could also motivate an attorney to delay settlement of the dispute [which the authors don't mention often results in a far better outcome for the client].&nbsp;&nbsp; In addition, attorneys&rsquo; (or their clients&rsquo;) commitment to or belief in their case based on questions of justice or other principles [which are worth, in my opinion, greater attention that purely monetary outcomes] could also delay settlement until &ldquo;defending the principle becomes too costly&rdquo; (citation omitted). Finally, attorneys may wish to justify both their role and their fees with unnecessary interactions./1</em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Are we mendacious, self-serving, parasites of the &quot;justice system,&quot; feathering our own comfortable nests as we attempt to preserve the &quot;outdated&quot; notion that the justice system is capable of delivering justice? I don't believe so, but let's not get all anecdotal about these questions when we have cold, hard statistics within reach.&nbsp; What were the <em>results </em>of this study on the way in which attorneys might &quot;get in the way of&quot; a successful mediation?</p>
<p>Here's the bottom line assessment (please read the article yourself to draw your own conclusions).</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em>The empirical data we collected in this study indicate that the presence of an attorney in a mediation does not significantly affect the settlement rate, the time needed to reach an agreement, the perceived fairness of the process, the parties&rsquo; level of satisfaction with the agreement, or the parties&rsquo; level of trust that the agreement will be honored. These results indicate that attorneys have much less impact than is claimed by those mediators who do not welcome their involvement in the mediation process.</em></p>
<p><em>Nevertheless, the results also demonstrate that the presence of an attorney does affect mediation outcomes in at least two ways: by reducing the parties&rsquo; level of satisfaction with the mediator&rsquo;s performance and by reducing the level of reconciliation between parties. </em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>So the Myth Busters of this study conclude that attorneys:</p>
<ol>
    <li>don't &quot;significantly affect the settlement rate&quot; /2</li>
    <li>don't significantly affect &quot;the perceived fairness of the process&quot;;</li>
    <li>don't significantly affect &quot;the parties' level of satisfaction with the agreement; and,</li>
    <li>don't significantly affect the &quot;parties' level of trust that the agreement will be honored.&quot;</li>
</ol>
<p>This is the subjective viewpoint of the <em>litigants, </em>mind you, in a dynamic where the mediator often openly attributes the success of the mediation to the clients' attorney - an observation which is more deeply true than most mediators would care to admit with all their white horse hi-ho silver, magic bullet off-to the-rescue enthusiasm.</p>
<p>What did litigants report to the authors of this article?&nbsp; They indicated that attorneys adversely affected mediation outcomes in two ways:&nbsp; (1)&nbsp; they reduced the parties' &quot;level of satisfaction with the mediator's performance&quot;; and, (2) they &quot;reduced the level of reconciliation between the parties.&quot;</p>
<p>Of all of the purported effects of attorneys' presence at mediation - without whom, it must be noted, the parties would not likely be induced to sit down and mediate at all -- the only significant perceived difference is the failure of the mediation process to reconcile the parties - something in which the legal system has little to no interest.</p>
<p>Please read the article for proposed solutions to the reconciliation issue.&nbsp; As to the remainder of the study's findings, I&nbsp;have this to say:</p>
<ol>
    <li>whenever two or more people are gathered together, the dynamics of the group more profoundly affect the outcome than do the contributions of any individual member of the group.&nbsp; Our &quot;reality,&quot; especially as it appears in a group setting, is &quot;co-created.&quot;&nbsp; See the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/10/weekinreview/10kershaw.html">New York Times must-read article on the Psychology of Terrorism </a>and <a href="http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;id=84oLY-OYyaAC&amp;oi=fnd&amp;pg=PA215&amp;dq=reality+is+co-created&amp;ots=v6hBlrabpO&amp;sig=_fxjwV354u3g_UWZ9w37ktmwT4A#v=onepage&amp;q=reality%20is%20co-created&amp;f=false">Retail Marketing at Google Books</a> (the latter noting that because people live in a social world which is co-created in social interaction with others . . . . [they] can be thought of as both products and producers of the social world.&quot;&nbsp; <em>Id. </em>at 218.)</li>
    <li>try as you may, you will never be able to untangle the threads that create the intricate tapestry of a settlement; every member contributes something invaluable without which the precise result could not possibly have been achieved.&nbsp;</li>
    <li><em>who </em>is therefore responsible for the <em>good </em>and who responsible for the purportedly <em>bad </em>results of mediation?&nbsp; That's easy:&nbsp; <em>EVERYONE IS.</em></li>
</ol>
<p>That being the case, we are <em>all </em>responsible for our outcomes - whether our contribution is &quot;negative,&quot; i.e., <em>resisting settlement, </em>for instance, or &quot;positive,&quot; i.e., <em>problem solving the reasons given by Mr. Negative that the case simply can't settle on terms acceptable to all.</em>&nbsp;&nbsp;Remember your University philosophy class? Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis. &nbsp;We need people willing to state the negative to problem solve it positively. &nbsp;The <em>relationships&nbsp;</em>cause the outcome, not one member of a group unless that member is a tyrant with loyal troops at his command.&nbsp;</p>
<p>If you'll allow me a literary reference that justifies my own collegiate career and says far more eloquently than I ever could why we're <em>all accountable, </em>I first give you one of my favorite authors, <a href="http://www.stuartpilkington.co.uk/paulauster/">Paul Auster</a> (who you may remember as the screenwriter of the movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114478/">Smoke</a>).</p>
<blockquote>
<p>
<meta charset="utf-8"><em>The world can never be assumed to exist.&nbsp; It comes into being only in the act of moving towards it.&nbsp; Ese est&nbsp;percipii.&nbsp; Nothing can be taken for granted:&nbsp; we do not find&nbsp; ourselves in the midst of an already established world, we do not, as if by preordained birthright, automatically take possession of our surroundings.&nbsp; Each moment,each thing, must be earned, wrested away from the confusion of inert matter, by a steadiness of gaze, a purity of perception so intense that the effort, in itself,&nbsp;takes on the value of a religious act.&nbsp;&nbsp;The slate has&nbsp;&nbsp;been wiped clean. It is up to [us] to write [our] own book.</em>&nbsp;<a href="http://www.paulauster.co.uk/" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 102, 170);">Paul Auster</a>,<span class="Apple-converted-space">&nbsp;</span><a href="http://epc.buffalo.edu/authors/reznikoff/decisivemoment.html" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 102, 170);">The Decisive Moment</a><span class="Apple-converted-space">&nbsp;</span>from<span class="Apple-converted-space">&nbsp;</span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0140267506/qid=1112735379/sr=1-68/ref=sr_1_68?v=glance&amp;tag2=paulaustert06-20" style="text-decoration: none; color: rgb(51, 102, 170);">The Art of Hunger.</a>       </meta>
</p>
</blockquote>
<p>The second excerpt I will leave for your thoughtful consideration is by the greatest scholar of comparative religions to ever inhabit the planet - <a href="http://www.jcf.org/new/index.php">Joseph Campbell</a> (skip the intro with the new age music).</p>
<blockquote>
<p><em><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Schopenhauer, in his splendid essay called &quot;On an Apparent  Intention in the Fate of the Individual,&quot; points out that when you reach  an advanced age and look back over your lifetime, it can seem to have had a consistent  order and plan, as though composed by some novelist. Events that when they occurred  had seemed accidental and of little moment turn out to have been indispensable  factors in the composition of a consistent plot. So who composed that plot? Schopenhauer  suggests that just as your dreams are composed by an aspect of yourself of which  your consciousness is unaware, so, too, your whole life is composed by the will  within you. And just as people whom you will have met apparently by mere chance  became leading agents in the structuring of your life, so, too, will you have  served unknowingly as an agent, giving meaning to the lives of others, The whole  thing gears together like one big symphony, with everything unconsciously structuring  everything else. And Schopenhauer concludes that it is as though our lives were  the features of the one great dream of a single dreamer in which all the dream  characters dream, too; so that everything links to everything else, moved by the  one will to life which is the universal will in nature.</font></em></p>
<p><em><font face="Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">It&rsquo;s  a magnificent idea &ndash; an idea that appears in India in the mythic image of  the Net of Indra, which is a net of gems, where at every crossing of one thread  over another there is a gem reflecting all the other reflective gems. Everything  arises in mutual relation to everything else, so you can&rsquo;t blame anybody  for anything. It is even as though there were a single intention behind it all,  which always makes some kind of sense, though none of us knows what the sense  might be, or has lived the life that he quite intended.</font></em></p>
</blockquote>
<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Power-Myth-Joseph-Campbell/dp/0385418868"><em>Joseph Campbell - The Power of Myth, with Bill Moyers</em></a>, as quoted in <a href="http://www.whidbey.com/parrott/">Derek Parrott's Blog</a>.</p>
<p>Lawyers, mediators, clients, experts, consultants, legal assistants, and, yes, even your spouse with whom you consulted before today's mediation, every one of them is part of the &quot;net of gems, where at every crossing of one thread over another there is a gem reflecting all the other reflective gems [so that] [e]verything arises in mutual relation to everything else, so you can't blame anybody for anything&quot; <em>and, </em>by the&nbsp; way, we can't credit credit nor bear all the responsibility for anything.&nbsp; We are all capable.&nbsp; We are all accountable.&nbsp; And we all contribute something to the whole.</p>
<p>So we can stop pretending to be better than we are now.&nbsp; We can all put down the burden and shame of our own entirely human fallibility; the myth that we ever do anything without the contribution of others; and, the pretense that we don't behave as badly, or as well, as other people do.&nbsp; We're part of the team.&nbsp; We're in it together.&nbsp; Isn't that <em>good </em>news for the New Year?</p>
<p>And to give you a treat from having gotten this far, a scene that is all about seeing, from Paul Auster's <em>Smoke</em>.</p>
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<p>____________________</p>
<p>1/ I'd be interested, of course, in what the authors consider to be &quot;unnecessary interactions.&quot;</p>
<p>2/ This is a particularly interesting finding since <em>mediators </em>have also been found not to improve the settlement rate but only greater party satisfaction in several studies.</p>
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         <pubDate>Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:43:24 -0800</pubDate>
         <dc:creator>Victoria Pynchon</dc:creator>

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